Page 5 - Hobe Sound Reflections - July '18
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Hobe Sound, Page 5

      The Single Scene Column                 ©          more appealing as the countdown to the big holidays is officially   infidelity, in that this usually occurs on an electronic device in

                                                         in motion.                                        one way or another. How do you know if you have crossed the
      By Kelly Leary , Founder                              As your leader of love, I have decided to bring you up to   line? If you are doing anything you would not want your partner
      of Revolution Dating                               date on some new “terms” being used by singles today. The   knowing about (when it comes to dating or flirting) like texting
                                                         old-fashioned meeting through introduction by a friend is the   inappropriately, sending photos or sharing intimate feelings
      Decoding the New                                   best way to go...and that is what we recreate at my club. So   with anyone other than your “exclusive” partner, then you are
      Dating Language                                    Ready-Set-Go. Be aware and enjoy the next chapter of your life.   micro-cheating.
                                                         Knowledge is power. The power of love knows no boundaries      Love Bombing: The flame that burns too fast dies quickly.
         The Love Business is                            but first we must know who we are dating and what goes on   You feel someone fell madly in love with you but they have
      booming with new couples                           “Behind the Screens!” (Yikes). Online daters beware...and   never met you or you met briefly. In this case you definitely
      and engagements. I can’t count                     social media lovers...heed my advice! It’s just too easy to get   should think twice. Why is he or she falling so fast and they
      how many dynamic duos                              into trouble if you are dating via the internet in any way. In this   barely know you? How many times have they done this before?
      are enjoying the fireworks                         day and age, dating begins and ends with our smart phones…     Catfishing: When a person lures someone into a relationship
      together all summer long                           Time To Get Smarter.                              by pretending to be someone else online or has greatly altered
      because of us. Summertime is                       Learn the Dating Dictionary, circa 2018:          their appearance. Catfishes often steal photos from strangers’
      the kick-off of Cuffing Season,                       Micro-Cheating: Inappropriate flirting or contact with   profiles, and sometimes even create multiple personas to
      the time when finding a girlfriend or boyfriend becomes even   another that lacks physical touch. It goes beyond emotional   make their stories more believable. They will try to continue a
                                                                                                           “fake” relationship for months--always avoiding a face-to-face
                                                                                                              Ghosting: When someone you’ve been seeing vanishes
                                                                                                           without a trace. You could have been dating a few days, or
                                                                                                           months, but one day they simply disappear. They don’t return
                                                                                                           your texts, and may even block you to avoid having the break-
                                                                                                           up conversation with you. It’s cowardly, but sadly common,
                                                                                                           especially with a vast array of dating apps at our fingertips.
                                                                                                              Zombie-ing: If you’ve been ghosted, the culprit may
                                                                                                           resurface. It’s usually a decent amount of time after they
                                                                                                           disappeared, and they often act like nothing happened, like a
                                                                                                           revived corpse.
                                                                                                              Nexting: With all the apps at our fingertips and singles
                                                                                                           finding it so easy to communicate via a smart phone, anyone
                                                                                                           can be anyone. False confidence abounds and many just feel
                                                                                                           they can jump to the next in an instant...and guess what? They
                                                                                                           can. This is a weak testimony to a real man or woman who is
                                                                                                           looking to date sincerely as a romantic goal. If you feel you are
                                                                                                           in this trap, get out quickly.
                                                                                                              Stashing: When the person you’re dating doesn’t introduce
                                                                                                           you to their friends or family, and doesn’t post anything about
                                                                                                           you on social media. Basically, you’re their secret boyfriend
                                                                                                           or girlfriend, while they feel justified in “stashing” you on
                                                                                                           the shelf, pretending nothing is going on to the outside world,
                                                                                                           and keeping their options open. If they proclaim you as their
                                                                                                           romantic interest, they will have to give up their search.
                                                                                                              Benching: Before you have “the talk” with your new partner
                                                                                                           about whether you are in an exclusive relationship, you are at
                                                                                                           risk of being “benched.” Like the sports term, where players
                                                                                                           are left on the bench as reserves, you might find yourself being
                                                                                                           someone’s back-up option as they continue to look around. They
                                                                                                           may come back to you if nobody better comes along, but that
                                                                                                           doesn’t give one high hopes for the relationship, does it?
                                                                                                              Today, more than ever, I realize why this club has become
                                                                                                           so popular among our members who are too smart for the shark
                                                                                                           tank. If you are someone who has resisted dating because of all
                                                                                                           of the above, I don’t blame you. BUT you do have to stand up for
                                                                                                           what you want at some point and take a strong calculated risk.
                                                                                                           Not everyone is obsessed with his or her screens! Not everyone
             Be Inspired.                                                                                  would risk his or her safety, money or sanity on internet dating or
                                                                                                           blind flirting. You don’t have to either. Don’t think of what you
               Engaged.                                                                                    have to lose today, think of what you have to gain. Be confident,

               Fulfilled.                                                                                  smart, and carry on my friend! It’s time you start dating smart
                                                                                                           too. You got this--and so do we!
                                                                                                              Let’s claim some internet-independence!
             Supporting Your                                                                                                                        XOXO,
              Memory Care                                                                                                                             Kelly

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