Page 5 - Martin Downs Bulletin - September '19
P. 5
Martin Downs, Page 5
dating
The Singles Scene Column © overdue. The signs have been everywhere--nationally and field to a popular restaurant. Do people know how to
internationally. Even on a local level, I was noticing how communicate in person anymore? These days, if you make
caught up and confused people have been behaving and it a phone call, instead of texting, you may be deemed a
FOUR MONTHS TO 2020~~Time to Change really bothered me. Many have been literally trapped in nuisance or worse--strange!
Your Status! their own world, often behind screens, isolated, and it has People hiding behind social media and dating apps
By Kelly Leary, M.S., been sad to observe as a woman, mother, and matchmaker “think” they have very little risk of getting hurt and more
Founder of Revolution who is connected to love and positivity. How could a options, but over the course of time they are actually
Dating New Year marked 2020 not bring glorious energy and hurting their self-worth. This is convoluted logic.
In four months, we will excitement to all of us? Let’s think about this now--in Single people (half of the adult population) are afraid
all experience a once in advance. You have time now. A lot can happen in FOUR to risk rejection and ask someone out in person. What
a lifetime evening and I months. they don’t realize is that they are actually destroying
am glad we will enjoy it There are multiple reasons for this disconnection their self-esteem by comparing themselves to ostensibly
together. The world has within ourselves and as a group in general. I believe, “perfect” people online. The focus is on looks, selfies,
been getting increasingly along with many Evolutionary Psychologists, that too and swiping left. There is intense competition to be
disconnected for many much time on screens is leading to an increased feeling intimate too soon (for women) and there are too many
people (especially single of desperation and often hopelessness. People are hiding options (for men) which trigger short term commitment
people stuck in a rut) while behind their computers and smartphones. Look around and even divorce. It’s like the online wild west--total
hope and love are long you. This phenomenon is everywhere from the ball chaos and VERY dangerous emotionally and physically.
Ask anyone recently divorced at any age--I bet there was
an extra-marital online affair involved. The odds reveal
the phone was involved too. It may have been a full-
blown affair in-person or it may have been a micro-affair
(not in-person via video or texting). All signs scream:
counterproductive!
Statistic: 40 million Americans have tried online
dating and the majority report negative experiences
ESPECIALLY in Florida.
My team and I are wired to help but we can’t do it
alone. You need to join us and live a real-life off-line as
well. Data shows that the positive effects of the “next
chance” in 2020 will be felt most strongly in the next
four months; however it will continue to work its magic
into our future if we cut back on our “social” screen life
now. Why wait?
This all points back to the saying “timing is
everything!” Strike while the iron is hot. Our phones have
been ringing off the hook this year and your connection
awaits. Don’t be the last in line to make a positive change.
Connecting with others spiritually, emotionally, and in-
person is, in fact, the beauty of life at any age. I’m happy
to be in the center of so much love. This is what the world
needs--more love--true love--authentic love.
If you are on the fence about making a change, and
I think you are, then isn’t the last quarter of 2019 a
perfect time to start? How do you want to spend the
holidays? Who do you want by your side? If you have
been unsuccessful online dating and spending more than
10 hours per week online dating meeting flat tires (which
is the national average), then take a step away and ask
yourself: “How’s it working?”
Our parents and their parents did NOT have this many
options. This is why people stayed together longer. They
endured. They tried. They found the best in their partner
and did not disengage just because someone “better”
was messaging them or because their mate checklist
wasn’t complete. This wasn’t possible back in their day.
Sociologists claim that in the past, people encountered
only two to three potential mates in a lifetime. Can you
imagine how the thousands of options at once is eroding
the very foundation of love and connection? Too much.
Too soon. Too easy. Too fast. Too sad. Realize it once
and for all and know there is a way to fix this dilemma.
Shut down your screen after work hours and return
to love off-line. I’ve been writing this column for 10
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