Page 5 - Martin Downs Bulletin - September '19
P. 5

Martin Downs, Page 5
                                                                    dating






      The Singles Scene Column                 ©         overdue. The signs have been everywhere--nationally and   field to a popular restaurant. Do people know how to
                                                         internationally. Even on a local level, I was noticing how   communicate in person anymore? These days, if you make
                                                         caught up and confused people have been behaving and it   a phone call, instead of texting, you may be deemed a
      FOUR MONTHS TO 2020~~Time to Change                really bothered me. Many have been literally trapped in   nuisance or worse--strange!
      Your Status!                                       their own world, often behind screens, isolated, and it has     People  hiding  behind  social  media  and  dating  apps
      By Kelly Leary, M.S.,                              been sad to observe as a woman, mother, and matchmaker   “think” they have very little risk of getting hurt and more
      Founder of Revolution                              who is connected to love and positivity. How could a   options, but over the course of time they are actually
      Dating                                             New Year marked 2020 not bring glorious energy and   hurting their self-worth.  This is convoluted logic.
        In four months, we will                          excitement to all of us? Let’s think about this now--in   Single people (half of the adult population) are afraid
      all experience a once in                           advance. You have time now. A lot can happen in FOUR   to risk rejection and ask someone out in person. What
      a lifetime evening and I                           months.                                           they don’t realize is that they are actually destroying
      am  glad  we  will  enjoy  it                        There are multiple reasons for this disconnection   their self-esteem by comparing themselves to ostensibly
      together.  The  world  has                         within ourselves and as a group in general. I believe,   “perfect” people online. The focus is on looks, selfies,
      been getting increasingly                          along with many Evolutionary Psychologists, that too   and swiping left. There is intense competition to be
      disconnected  for  many                            much time on screens is leading to an increased feeling   intimate too soon (for women) and there are too many
      people (especially single                          of desperation and often hopelessness. People are hiding   options (for men) which trigger short term commitment
      people stuck in a rut) while                       behind their computers and smartphones. Look around   and even divorce. It’s like the online wild west--total
      hope and love are long                             you.  This phenomenon is everywhere from the ball   chaos and VERY dangerous emotionally and physically.
                                                                                                           Ask anyone recently divorced at any age--I bet there was
                                                                                                           an extra-marital online affair involved. The odds reveal
                                                                                                           the phone was involved too. It may have been a full-
                                                                                                           blown affair in-person or it may have been a micro-affair
                                                                                                           (not in-person via video or texting). All signs scream:
                                                                                                           counterproductive!
                                                                                                             Statistic: 40 million Americans have tried online
                                                                                                           dating and the majority report negative experiences
                                                                                                           ESPECIALLY in Florida.
                                                                                                             My team and I are wired to help but we can’t do it
                                                                                                           alone. You need to join us and live a real-life off-line as
                                                                                                           well. Data shows that the positive effects of the “next
                                                                                                           chance” in 2020 will be felt most strongly in the next
                                                                                                           four months; however it will continue to work its magic
                                                                                                           into our future if we cut back on our “social” screen life
                                                                                                           now. Why wait?
                                                                                                             This all points back to the saying “timing is
                                                                                                           everything!” Strike while the iron is hot. Our phones have
                                                                                                           been ringing off the hook this year and your connection
                                                                                                           awaits. Don’t be the last in line to make a positive change.
                                                                                                           Connecting with others spiritually, emotionally, and in-
                                                                                                           person is, in fact, the beauty of life at any age. I’m happy
                                                                                                           to be in the center of so much love. This is what the world
                                                                                                           needs--more love--true love--authentic love.
                                                                                                             If you are on the fence about making a change, and
                                                                                                           I think you are, then isn’t the last quarter of 2019 a
                                                                                                           perfect time to start? How do you want to spend the
                                                                                                           holidays? Who do you want by your side? If you have
                                                                                                           been unsuccessful online dating and spending more than
                                                                                                           10 hours per week online dating meeting flat tires (which
                                                                                                           is the national average), then take a step away and ask
                                                                                                           yourself: “How’s it working?”
                                                                                                             Our parents and their parents did NOT have this many
                                                                                                           options. This is why people stayed together longer. They
                                                                                                           endured. They tried. They found the best in their partner
                                                                                                           and did not disengage just because someone “better”
                                                                                                           was messaging them or because their mate checklist
                                                                                                           wasn’t complete. This wasn’t possible back in their day.
                                                                                                           Sociologists claim that in the past, people encountered
                                                                                                           only two to three potential mates in a lifetime. Can you
                                                                                                           imagine how the thousands of options at once is eroding
                                                                                                           the very foundation of love and connection? Too much.
                                                                                                           Too soon. Too easy. Too fast. Too sad. Realize it once
                                                                                                           and for all and know there is a way to fix this dilemma.
                                                                                                             Shut down your screen after work hours and return
                                                                                                           to love off-line. I’ve been writing this column for 10
                                             Call Now for Your
                                                AC TUNE-UP                                                 Dating on page 6
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