Page 5 - Martin Downs Bulletin - July '20
P. 5
Martin Downs, Page 5
dating
The Single Scene Column six months away. Plus, we are all a little more responsibly Learn the New Dating Dictionary, circa 2020:
“free” than we were in the Spring. Twenty/Twenty Micro-Cheating: Inappropriate flirting or contact
Decoding Our New Dating Language has been tough on us all, but it’s about to turn around! with another that lacks physical touch. It goes beyond
The second half of the year will make you smile with emotional infidelity, in that this usually occurs on an
By Kelly Leary, M.S., appreciation and hope. electronic device in one way or another. How do you know
Founder and President In the wake of our “new normal,” I have decided to if you have crossed the line? If you are doing anything
The love business is bring you up to date on the new “terms” being used on you would not want your partner knowing about (when
booming with new clients the dating scene. As always, meeting through introduction it comes to dating or flirting) like texting inappropriately,
and engagement notifications by a friend is the best way to go...and that is what we sending photos or sharing intimate feelings with anyone
post-lockdown. I can’t count recreate at my club. So Ready-Set-Go. Be aware and other than your “exclusive” partner, then you are micro-
how many dynamic duos will enjoy the next chapter of your life. Knowledge is power. cheating.
be enjoying the fireworks The power of love knows no boundaries but first we must Love Bombing: The flame that burns too fast dies
together because of us. know who we are dating and what goes on “Behind the quickly. You feel someone fell madly in love with you but
Summertime is the kick-off Screens!” (Yikes). Online daters beware today more than they have never met you or you met briefly. In this case
of The Cuffing Season, the ever before...and social media lovers...heed my advice. you definitely should think twice. Why is he or she falling
time when finding a girlfriend It’s just too easy to get into trouble if you are dating via so fast and they barely know you? How many times have
or boyfriend becomes even the internet in any way. In this day and age, dating begins they done this before?
more appealing as the countdown to the holidays is only and ends with our smart phones. So, let’s get smarter. Catfishing: When a person lures someone into a
relationship by pretending to be someone else online or
has greatly altered their appearance. Catfishes often steal
photos from strangers’ profiles, and sometimes even create
multiple personas to make their stories more believable.
They will try to continue a “fake” relationship for months-
-always avoiding a face-to-face meeting.
Ghosting: When someone you’ve been seeing vanishes
without a trace. You could have been dating a few days,
or months, but one day they simply disappear. They don’t
return your texts, and may even block you to avoid having
the break-up conversation with you. It’s cowardly, but
sadly common, especially with a vast array of dating apps
at our fingertips.
Zombie-ing: If you’ve been ghosted, the culprit may
resurface. It’s usually a decent amount of time after they
disappeared, and they often act like nothing happened,
like a revived corpse.
Nexting: With all the apps at our fingertips and singles
finding it so easy to communicate via a smart phone,
anyone can be anyone. False confidence abounds and
many just feel they can jump to the next in an instant...
and guess what? They can. This is a weak testimony to
a real man or woman who is looking to date sincerely as
a romantic goal. If you feel you are in this trap, get out
quickly.
Stashing: When the person you’re dating doesn’t
introduce you to their friends or family, and doesn’t post
anything about you on social media. Basically, you’re their
secret boyfriend or girlfriend, while they feel justified in
“stashing” you on the shelf, pretending nothing is going
on to the outside world, and keeping their options open.
If they proclaim you as their romantic interest, they will
have to give up their search.
Benching: Before you have “the talk” with your new
partner about whether you are in an exclusive relationship,
you are at risk of being “benched.” Like the sports term,
where players are left on the bench as reserves, you might
find yourself being someone’s back-up option as they
continue to look around. They may come back to you if
nobody better comes along, but that doesn’t give one high
hopes for the relationship, does it?
If you are someone who has resisted dating because
of all of the above, I don’t blame you. BUT you do have
to stand up for what you want at some point and take a
strong calculated risk. Not everyone is obsessed with his
or her screens! Not everyone would risk his or her safety,
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