Page 9 - Boca Exposure - July '21

Boca Exposure, Page 9
Achievement Centers For Children & Families

Receives Grant From Jules L. Plangere Family

Foundation For COVID-19 Relief Support

Achievement Centers for Children & Families able to operate quality programs which run all year, About Achievement Centers For Children & Families
(ACCF) has received a $100,000 grant from the Jules L. including early learning, out of school and summer camp, At Achievement Centers for Children & Families children are
Plangere Jr. Family Foundation. These funds will support teen, and family strengthening. This grant will support involved in early learning (toddler and preschool), after school,
programming efforts for COVID-19 relief and help close the organization’s programs and the supplies needed to teen and summer camp programs that help prepare them for
the organization’s operating deficit. ACCF provides ensure that children and their families have access to the academic and social success and inspire them to discover their
under-resourced children and their families with quality support they need. talents. Our families are served through our family strengthening
programming. “With funding from the Jules L. Plangere Jr. Family and economic stabilization services which benefit the community
Achievement Centers is a community-based, family- Foundation, we will be able to continue to provide quality by stabilizing families in crisis; supporting them to serve as the
focused organization dedicated to providing opportunities programming to hundreds of children and their families foundation of their child’s growth. Family strengthening services
where under-resourced children can thrive in a positive in the local community. COVID-19 has, and will continue are embedded within our four core programs of early learning,
environment. Its programs support educational growth, to have, a lasting impact on our community for years to out of school, teen and summer camp. ACCF serves hundreds
skill-building and healthy lifestyles which create a positive come. We want to ensure that we will be here to support of local children and families each year from three locations in
and lasting impact on a child. them through our programs. We are immensely grateful Delray Beach; Nancy K. Hurd Campus, Village Academy, and
With the funding support of the Plangere family to the Plangere Family Foundation for their generous Pine Grove Elementary. For more information, call (561) 266-
and their family foundation for more than 20 years, the contribution in support of our efforts,” Stephanie Seibel, 0003 or visit www.achievementcentersFL.org.
Achievement Center for Children & Families has been ACCF CEO said.
Reality Check √ – Healthy Answers On Living And Loving

Life: ‘Feel Like A Victim? Try Setting Boundaries!’

By Dale Brown, B.S., M.A., Jane’s latest issue involves her oldest daughter, Mimi, a - The first describes the behavior that you find
C.E.C. Dale is a motivational recent divorcee with two young children. According to Jane, unacceptable in a very descriptive way.
speaker who has spent many Mimi takes advantage of her by assuming she will always do - The second explains the action you will take to protect
years as a Certified Life Coach whatever it takes at the drop of a hat. Jane feels powerless to and take care of yourself in the event the other person
and has written numerous tell her daughter the way she really feels, and sees herself as the violates the boundary.
articles and e-books relating only person her daughter can lean on. I recall Jane’s comment: - The third outlines the resulting consequences, and your
to self-improvement and ways “She must think I have nothing better to do than babysit actions if the behavior continues.
to build a high-performance for her while she gets back into the dating game. I love my Applying this method of goal-setting to Jane’s situation,
team. Her education and grandchildren, but there is a limit to how much time I have to the dialogue might go something like this:
years of experience in give. How can I tell my own daughter that I want some time to 1) “Mimi, If you expect me to care for the kids every
physical fitness and training myself without seeming selfish?” day, take them to school, make them dinner, and get them
of elite athletes has enabled Many people, including Jane, find it impossible to set into bed, then …
her to sharpen her knowledge in many health-related areas. personal boundaries that show respect for themselves. 2) … I will have to make you understand that my time
The following is one in a series of columns devoted to many They find it hard to openly communicate what is and isn’t is important, too. There are things I want to do for myself
topics that deal with the mind/body connection and the tolerable to them. Those who view themselves as victims as much as I want to be there for you…
importance of living a healthy lifestyle. Dale, a Bocaire often do so because they have not learned to speak up to 3) … If you continue, I’ll have to put some limitations
resident, can be reached at dalebrown@lovingmondays.com. where they draw the line. on when and where I can give you a helping hand.”
Open and honest communication is difficult to master. The purpose of setting personal boundaries is to protect The third part of this formula is more for you than
It’s hard to come right out and tell someone what’s on your and take care of oneself. When someone acts in a way that is the other person. It helps you to mentally prepare for the
mind. Sometimes it’s easier to say nothing than it is to speak unacceptable to you, being able to state your thoughts out loud outcome if the boundary is breached. The first two steps
up for what’s upsetting you. affirms you have a right to those feelings. If you don’t stand up actually lay down the boundary so that the other person
As an example, let me tell you about a friend of mine for yourself, how else will someone know when they are acting knows how you feel and what they have to do to abide by
named Jane. For as long as I’ve known her, Jane finds herself in a way that is not satisfactory to you? your wishes.
in predicaments that cause her to feel angry, weak or helpless. Learning to set personal boundaries is vital to learning Setting a boundary is not making a threat. It’s
She describes herself as a victim of circumstance, dealing to love oneself. There are three goals to consider when communicating clearly how you feel, and what will happen
with the same situations over and over. setting a boundary. if the behavior continues. The intent is to change the other
person’s actions. By taking responsibility for your life,
you feel less like a victim and more in control of your
circumstances.
Of course, you always have the choice to remove
yourself from a situation or relationship. You can leave a
marriage, end a friendship or quit a job. It’s not Jane’s desire
to lose contact with her daughter or grandchildren. Rather,
it’s to put limitations on what she is willing and able to do

Stylish Modern Atmosphere Make Reservations happy hour to help her daughter while maintaining a life of her own.
In order for Jane to stop seeing herself as a victim, it’s

every Day 3 - 6 pm absolutely necessary for her to own her choices. Jane needs
to take the “have to” out of her vocabulary and replace it
and Mon. - Thurs. with the words “want to.” Jane isn’t obligated to do anything
all Day at Bar Only she doesn’t want to do. Mimi is not using force to make her
spend her time with the children, yet Jane feels she has to.
Lunch SpeciaLS By the same token, Mimi also has choices to make. As a
single parent, she now must choose where and with whom
every Day to leave her children when the need arises.
Setting boundaries is sometimes scary because you fear
starting at 9 hurting other people, or making them angry with you. It
$
might seem risky at times for you to draw a line in the sand
and say this is how I feel and this is what I am willing to
accept. At some point you have to be ready to take the risk
in order to protect your space and defend yourself. The
more you value yourself the more likely it is that in turn
other people will show you respect.
Any relationship worth having in your life should be
one in which you are comfortable when communicating
and negotiating. Jane is striving for a healthy interdependent
relationship with her daughter. She is really saying, “Here is
what I am willing to do, and here is what I need from you.”
Healthy, open relationships are what we all strive to have
in our lives. Don’t feel like a victim; learn to set flexible
boundaries to improve honest communication with others,
while honoring yourself at the same time.