Page 7 - Boca ViewPointe - July '21
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July 2021                                                      Viewpointe, Page 7

       Boca Pointe Advisor – July VIII from page 6          7. On a good night I might get 3 hours of sleep. Sometimes      d) It is common for our body to show signs of aging as we
                                                         I even dream I am awake. I have tried every sleeping pill   get older. You might want to consider using a neutral color
      enough to the cake to get the job done. Everyone always   with no success. I am about to lose my mind if I do not get   lipstick and use this to cover up any veins that you have a
      laughs at me. For this reason, I always hate celebrating my   help. Please, I need help badly.       problem with. But one concern is you cannot shower, bathe,
      birthday. Any suggestions on how to solve this problem?     a) Sleep disorders are one of the most common and   go swimming or go outside in the rain as this will cause
         a) A first for The Advisor. We will use a parallel scenario   misunderstood problems in society. All experts in this field   severe streaking of the lipstick down your legs.
      from a person suffering from COPD. Certain exercises can   are of the opinion that bedrooms should only be used for      10. My friend is a lip reader. She can read lips from 30
      strengthen your lungs and enable you to blow out candles   sleep and sex. We suggest you remove the pinball machine   feet away. When we go to single events it is so interesting
      from a distance. Start with blowing up balloons and then go   and strobe lights and see if your sleep improves.  what people think. Guys in particular when they talk have
      to larger items like blow up dolls and rafts. Over time you      b) You might want to pursue a job as a night watchman.   only one thing in common. I feel she should not be doing
      will be able to easily blow out candles on a cake – pardon   You are up anyway so you might as well turn your insomnia   this. Should I tell her to stop?
      the pun – but this should be a piece of cake.      into an opportunity to increase your cash flow.      a) Lip reading is an art and there is nothing at all
         b) Make sure the candles on your cake are not trick      c) Since you cannot sleep in the bedroom, try the kitchen,   wrong with “eavesdropping” on other people’s private
      candles that are impossible to blow out. This happens   and see if that helps. Buy an extra-large dutch oven and sleep   conversations.
      quite often.                                       in that. Make sure you buy one with a non-stick coating.     b) We know of a long-term research project that revealed
         c) Avoid birthday celebrations at all costs. Just accept      d) Go to a sleep-away camp for adults. This might put   most lipreaders can also read minds. We suggest you enter
      gifts. This fear should blow over with time.       you in the right mindset for sleep.               her in a no limit Texas Hold Em Contest. Convert her skills
         d) If none of these suggestions work, then you need to go      8. I have been following your column since day one   into a money-making machine.
      to the extreme. Volunteer to blow up a float for the Macy’s   and am very impressed with the wide range of topics you      c) We are wondering if her subject has chapped lips does
      Thanksgiving Day parade. If you can blow one of these up   cover. This is a bit personal but I do need some help.   that interfere with her ability to read lips.
      you will be able to blow out the Olympic Torch!    When I am out on a date I never know when I should try      d) Do not tell her to stop. Just make sure she does not do
         6. A friend of our family usually joins us whenever   to kiss my date. Are there any tips you can share with me   this with people who have speech impediments as there is a
      we have family gatherings. As a courtesy we ask him to   so I can try to figure this out.            good chance she will not properly get the right message. We
      say grace before we eat. Under normal conditions this      a) If your date is wearing fishnet stockings and stiletto   knew a situation where a lip reader thought the guy sitting a
      would not be a problem but lately a childhood condition   heels you should assume she will be receptive to your   few seats down from her in the bar was telling his friend how
      was re-occurred, and it is a problem that we do not know   advances.                                 hot she was. She took that opportunity to introduce herself to
      how to deal with. His stuttering has returned, and it is      b) When she is not looking, check her purse to see if she   him and invite him back to his place. What was happening is
      worse than ever. We were able to watch the Ken Burns   has any restraining orders hidden in her wallet. If so, best   a cigarette fell on his chair and his pants were on fire. After
      series about Baseball in its entirety before he could finish   not to make any moves.                getting soaked with a fire extinguisher she learned a lesson
      saying grace. We do not want to hurt his feelings, but we      c) If she has pepper spray hanging from her neck,   the hard way.
      need to resolve this problem. Please help.         probably best to social distance.                    Answers to last month’s column are: fyi, uno, b, bee, aunt
         a) We have a speech therapist and a glottal stop expert we      d) Many women send very subtle messages that most   bee, f, u, I, cd, DVD, mri, ufo and some of the above.
      rely on for any issues related to speech. Their suggestion is   men do not pick up. If she is wearing a shirt that says My      Next column will have the long-awaited Mailbox issue so
      to stuff his mouth with mashed potatoes before saying grace.   Husband is Out of Town, then we feel it is safe to make   you can hear feedback from residents that have followed up
      He most likely will allow someone else to take over since   a move.                                  on our advice. We know you will love this issue and continue
      he will not be able to talk. Give it a try and let us know how      9. I have terrible varicose veins and am embarrassed to   to learn from our incredible expert advice.
      you make out.                                      be out in public unless I wear slacks or sweats or anything      Stay safe, wear a mask if that makes you more
         b) Stuttering is a deep-rooted problem that needs long   that will cover my legs. Can you please offer me some   comfortable. Stock up on toilet paper for the next pandemic.
      term treatment. Have him contact The Stuttering Institute   suggestions?
      of America for help.                                  a) Only go out when you compete in a potato sack race      The author of this Advice Column, Alan Arnold lives in
         c) Find someone who has a lisp and seat them next to   at family get togethers.                   Southwinds, Meridiana, La Paz, and has a seasonal rental
      each other. Have them both say grace together.        b) Wear socks that stretch up to your knees. They are   in the Edgewater Estates. 
         d) Use the extra pillows you bought from the My Pillow   very commonly seen on older men. But we think this will
      Guy and use them as a muffling device, so he will not be   be a game changer.
      heard. Just nod as he gasps for air and his stuttering will be      c) Walk bowlegged with a limp and crutches. This will
      a minor concern as he fends off suffocation.       deflect any attention away from your varicose veins.

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