Page 8 - Boca ViewPointe - August '21
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Page 8, Viewpointe                                                   August 2021
      Boca Pointe Advisor IX August

      NOT YOUR TYPICAL                                     No longer go outside. Order all meals delivered. Stay   group disguised as a woman. Refer to the movie Mrs.
                                                           d) Stop taking showers and baths. Always use a walker.
                                                                                                           Doubtfire for some great tips. You will no doubt connect
      ADVICE COLUMN                                      inside and keep your activities limited to Netflix and The   with women looking to share their emotions. When you
                                                         Hallmark Channel. Your odds of falling should be greatly   think the time is right, take off your wig, makeup, and
      By Alan Arnold                                     reduced as will be the case with your quality of life.   Spanx, and they will either love you or savagely beat you
                                                            4. My 53-year-old husband still celebrates Halloween   up. We feel its worth the risk. Just make sure you have
         We know our readers were expecting the much-    and dresses up in costumes and goes out trick or treating.   paramedics on standby.
      awaited Mailbox issue but due to an overwhelming   I love the candy he brings home but I need to put an end      c) Go to Ukraine to meet the many gorgeous women
      flood of urgent requests for help we had no choice but to   to this. It is the talk of the neighborhood and I am very   eager to enter the USA. We have many references that you
      delay the Mailbox Issue and deal with the many pressing   embarrassed.                               can contact. Please be prepared to learn to talk Ukrainian.
      problems that need to be addressed now.               a) Seek medical help immediately.  This is not   None of these women speak English but that is a minor issue.
         Another concern that we are dealing with is the loss of   something a grown man should be doing.     d) Assuming  you  do  go  to  Ukraine  we  strongly
      some key personnel. For this reason, we have no choice      b) After further research we have a better understanding   recommend you learn how to say the following in their
      due to limited staff but to reduce our column from 10   of the problem. We have been told that he dresses up   native language:
      questions to 5. We apologize but simply do not have the   looking like you, so all the neighbors think you are      1. Can your girlfriend also come to the United States
      personnel to perform at the same level as before.   the one who is somewhat off your rocker. The Advisor   as our nanny.
         We promise we will reply to all questions we receive   suggests you give him a horse size sedative the day before      2. You must sign a prenup as part of the agreement.
      but ask for your patience and understanding. Our HR   Halloween. He should be out cold for two days.     3. Make sure your homework is done before we have
      Department is conducting interviews, but it is very      c) Let him have fun. It is obvious your marriage is on   dinner.
      difficult to find qualified people.                the rocks and next time he is out, change the locks on the      So that is it for this issue. Again, we apologize for
         So, let us get to it.                           front door and that will be quite an impressive trick!  the shortened column but until we can add more staff,
         1. My girlfriend recently got a Botox treatment from      d) Tell all your neighbors to give him stool softeners   we only can do what we can do before we are able to do
      a new doctor offering special deals for new patients. The   disguised as candy. He might never want to Trick or Treat again.  more than what we are currently able to do.
      procedure was a disaster as her lower lip sags down to      5. I have recently become single after a very bitter      Make sense?
      the bottom of her chin. Should she pursue legal action?  lengthy divorce. I have been on single websites, gone to      Answers to issues from last column:
         a) These treatments can result in unexpected side   events, been set up but never seem to meet anyone that I      Eieio, abracadabrar, ohno, a, middle c, be, bee, c, sea,
      effects. If her sagging lower lip is the only side effect, we   can connect with. I even went on a site called Desperate.  d, aa, aaa, aarp.
      suggest she keep a stiff upper lip and in time the lower   com where they offer you a 100% refund if you do not      Until  the  next column, stay  safe, medicate, and
      lip sagging will reverse itself.                   find a match. No luck there as well. Can The Advisor give   meditate, and inform the Advisor if you are enjoying and
         b) You should find out how this happened since you   me some help – I really am desperate to find a partner.  taking advantage of our expert advice.
      told us she was doing this procedure to eliminate wrinkles      a) It is very difficult these days to connect with the
      around her eyelids.                                right person. We suggest you sign up for a belly dancing      The author of this Advice Column, Alan Arnold lives
         c) Sue, sue and sue. Do not let this doctor get away   class where all the participants are women.   in Southwinds, Meridiana, La Paz, and has a seasonal
      with a potential malpractice suit. The fact that he is only      b) Another idea would be to go to a widow’s focus   rental in the Edgewater Estates. 
      licensed as a vet should strengthen your case.
         d) If she still can eat or drink without drooling,
      probably best to let it go and chalk it up to a lapse in
      judgement.                                                                                                                                 B’H
         2.  When I go out with my girlfriends, it is very                                    Sabra Wall Decor
      frustrating since one of my friends is the most attractive
      in our group and she gets all the attention from the guys.
      Does The Advisor have a solution as we do not think we      EstimatEs
      can include her anymore when we go out.
         a) Offer her a free Botox treatment at the above-
      mentioned doctor.                                       Painting & More ...
         b) Only go to places that are very dark. This way you
      all are on equal footing.
         c) The easy answer is just do not include her anymore.  •   Popcorn Ceiling                    •      Wallpaper Removal
         d) Go to female only places and perhaps she might
      decide to change teams when all the other women come   •    Knock Down
      on to her.                                           •      Drywall Repair
         3. My kids got me a Life Alert button that I wear
      around my neck in case I fall at home. Since I live alone,               Cell: (954) 931-4716                            Licensed & Insured
      I agreed to this. As a recovering alcoholic I sometimes get            Office: (561) 395-3057                             CC: 03-11120-P-K
      the shakes and inadvertently pressed the wrong button on
      the system and my sister was contacted and flew in from
      California. When she realized nothing was wrong, she
      insisted I reimburse her for her air cost. It was an honest
      mistake. How can I resolve this problem.                                                                                            WE ARE
         a) Pass out in front of her and when the system contacts                        Save Up To
      her, she will already be there to help. It might resolve the                                                                          OPEN
      problem since she would have had to fly in anyway.                                                                                     24/7
         b) Offer to reimburse her but in installments since you
      are on a fixed income. Due to her declining health and age,
      chances are she will be long gone before the final payment.              80% OFF
         c) Probably best to remove her as a primary contact
      and have someone closer to contact if you need assistance.

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