Page 4 - Boca ViewPointe - October '21
P. 4

Page 4, Viewpointe                                                  October 2021
      Boca Pointe Advisor – XXXVLMMIIMMMMM – October

      NOT YOUR TYPICAL                                     of mine who is single and dates a lot. Whenever we start   and many others a way to deal with this.
                                                           4. My wife and I go out to dinner often with a friend
                                                                                                             a) Loosen up your purse strings and fly first class.

      ADVICE COLUMN                                      to order he orders in either Italian, French, or Spanish   Problem solved with airplanes and buy the seats on both
                                                         depending upon which type of food we are eating. He   sides of you in the theatre. Your problems are solved.
      By Alan Arnold                                     obviously is trying to impress his date but since he is   Money always talks!!
                                                         dyslexic and has early onset of Alzheimer’s, he never      b) A less expensive alternative would be to not shower
         We want to thank everyone who provided us with   matches the language with the type of food. As an   for a week before you fly or go to a movie. We are very
      feedback in our Special Mailbox issue. We were quite   example, last week we went for Chinese, and he ordered   confident no one will want to sit anywhere near you.
      surprised with the amount of replies and will share more   a Greek salad with extra feta but ordered the meal in   Problem solved.
      of the comments we received in upcoming columns.   Spanish. How  can we  approach  this problem  without      c)  Only  sit  next  to  people  with  one  arm. There  is
         Since the last article, two more of our staff have   offending him?                               a theory that one-armed bandit slot machines were
      left us to pursue better opportunities. Both were valued      a) We now understand why he never has a second date   developed by a person with one arm.
      researchers and we will miss their expertise in many areas.   with the same woman. Suggest you just go  to buffets      d) As far as movies, sit in the first row. No one ever
      But the show must go on as they say so here we go again.   where they have all types of food and require no talking   sits up front. Regarding planes as soon as you sit down
      Let’s get to it.                                   at all. This should solve this problem.           ask the flight attendant for multiple air sickness bags.
         1. All my friends have great smiles and I have put off      b) Illnesses are difficult to address when it affects a dear   Anyone sitting next to you with half a brain will move
      getting implants for awhile due to the high cost involved   friend. You might just want to go to The International House   immediately to another seat.
      and the fact I am on a fixed income. As a male in my mid-  of Pancakes where pancakes can be ordered in any language.      So,  another Advice  Column  is  concluded  with
      80s, I am not sure how much more time I have left so the      c) Find restaurants that have a no talking policy. This   a continuation of expert advice to our friends and
      expense just did not seem warranted. But I recently saw   is a new trend and is a follow up to no smoking. The   neighbors. Although we have been shorthanded, our staff
      an ad which caught my attention. Buy one get one free.   server just brings food to the table like the soup of the   is working harder than ever to provide you with advice
      I figured this was worth looking into, so I went to the   day, special of the day etc. No need to order. No need to   on all concerns we receive.
      presentation which also included a free lunch. So much for   talk. And hopefully no need to tip.        We are approaching our 1-year anniversary issue and
      the adage “There are no free Lunches.” I went and to my      d) I would get him into an assisted living facility   might be randomly approaching residents throughout the
      total surprise when I entered the room all the participants   ASAP. He is clearly spiraling downhill, and I am sure you   community. You will have the option not to talk to us if
      were women. I knew immediately this offer was not for   and your wife have your own problems with one child in   you wish. But if you are approached and share with us a
      dental implants. I was very embarrassed as all eyes were   a halfway house and the other out on parole. You do not   concern, we will include you in a special raffle that will
      staring at me. I am not going to tell you if I stayed or left   need to take on additional stuff.    provide you with free Uber car service for a year.
      but want your input to see if I did the right thing. Can you      5. My family has been reading your column from the      So, until we talk again, stay safe, and don’t forget to
      help me please?                                    beginning and are surprised that our question has not   take your meds.
         a) The advisor has an implant expert on retainer, and   come up yet. We know everyone deals with this and we
      we have consulted her to provide you with an appropriate   and many others need your help. How can we deal with      The author of this Advice Column, Alan Arnold lives
      answer. The most obvious suggestion was to say you were   people who hog the armrest in between seats on a plane   in Southwinds, Meridiana, La Paz, and has a seasonal
      there on behalf of your wife or girlfriend. This is quite   or in a movie theatre. We have sat next to people that   rental in the Edgewater Estates. 
      plausible and sounds like a good option.           have not moved their arm an inch and it is rude, selfish,
         b) Another option was to enjoy the free lunch, get as   and next time I might just go nuts. Please give my family
      many phone numbers as you can, and turn this into a social
      event. Our research indicates 74% of the women are most
      likely single.
         c) Another suggestion was to just try to get the implant
      that was free. We saw your photo and you could use some
      upper body help.
         d) The last choice would be to find a dentist that does
      both types of implants and just make a day out of it.
         2. A family member is a religious scholar who has
      lectured around the world and is one of the leading experts
      in this field. He swears (he actually never swears) that one of
      the greatest religious fallacies is The Ten Commandments.
      He claims there are actually 11 commandments but has
      faced skepticism whenever he has shared his research. He
      claims the 11th Commandment is “THOU SHALT NOT
      COVET THY NEIGHBOR’S DOG.” Can The Advisor
      help me on this as talking about religion is always a very
      sensitive subject.
         a) We happen to have a religious scholar on staff, and
      he is quite intrigued by this as he knows that no dogs were
      on Noah’s Ark and believes this is not a coincidence.
         b) Another thought that might give this theory credence
      is God spelled backwards is DOG.
         c) After further independent research, The Advisor
      thinks your friend is delusional and should seek medical
      help immediately.
         d) Religion is usually a subject we avoid. Like politics,
      it could be very divisive. But we were wondering if your
      family member has an unusual attraction to fire hydrants.   Do you know a family member,
      If so, this could warrant further discussion. Have your
      friend contact us once he is released from the pound.  friend or a neighbor in need of
         3. This is a bit unusual as far as problems but let me give
      it a shot and maybe your experts can help. I have always   Home Health Care?
      struggled with choosing between boxer underwear and
      briefs. Can you provide me with some suggestions since
      I know many other people who have the same problem.
         a) It all depends on what your preference is. Boxers
      give “the boys” more freedom and for many men that is   Home Health Aides / Certified Nursing Assistants / Registered Nurses  to assist you with:
      the most important reason our researchers have found why
      men prefer boxers.                                       • Personal Care      • Companionship     • Respite Care      • Alzheimers & Dementia Care
         b) Briefs are more restrictive and provide a better            • Medication Management     • Transportation     • Meal Preparation
      support system south of the border. Men who prefer briefs          • Light Housekeeping      • Grocery Shopping      • Post Surgery Care
      are usually very athletic and like to keep their guys limited
      in their movement when playing sports.
         c) We have found that some men who also struggle                              Complimentary In-Home Consultation
      with this problem wear both boxers and briefs at the same
      time. This usually provides security as well as freedom              Care provided in the comfort of your Home, Hospital, or Facility
      and addresses both concerns. The downside is that it
      doubles your laundry costs but might be well worth the     We accept All Long Term Care Insurance Policies and Private Pay – Affordable Rates
      extra expense.
         d) After doing a little more research it appears       Family owned and operated. Boca Resident for 30+ years and Boca Pointe Members.
      you are a woman and wonder why in the world you
      would be wearing either of these undergarments. Seek                    CALL TODAY:  561.740.8667
      help immediately. We can refer you to a website that                           
      specializes  in  disorders  of  this  nature. Go  to: www.                      Florida Licensed and Insured NR# 30211558, NR# 30211706
   1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9