Page 4 - BocaViewPoint - January '22
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Page 4, Viewpointe                                                  January 2022
      Boca Pointe Advisor – January 2022

      Issue SMLXLXXLNOPLLM                               but I did not. I feel very offended and need some advice   course. The only place they will be going is physical
                                                         on how I should deal with this.                   therapy.
      NOT YOUR TYPICAL                                     One Get One Free. The free gift must have been marked     Rat Alfonso. They are both experts with three irons and
                                                                                                             b) Contact Nicky the Neck Carlusso and Carmine the
                                                           a) We found out your gifts were purchased as a Buy
      ADVICE COLUMN                                      free and most likely wound up insulting your friend. That   can take care of this problem for you.
                                                         would explain her actions.                           c) We feel there is nothing wrong with their behavior.
      By Alan Arnold                                        b) Confront her. This is rude and unacceptable. The   When it comes to long lines, it is every man (or person to
                                                         fact  that  both  gifts  were  bought  at  a  Dollar  Store  is   be politically correct) for himself. Just suck it up and be
         As we kick off the new year, we can only wish our   irrelevant.                                   a man, or person, or woman if that makes you feel better.
      readers a year filled with good health, happiness, and a      c)  We  don’t  think  your  gift  was  appropriate.  We      d)  Buy  them  tickets  to  the  alligator  wresting
      return to some degree of normalcy. With that being said,   contacted your friend and she informed us you gave her   competition. We feel this will be the last line they will be
      we continue to get an enormous amount of mail from   an urn for her ashes when she is cremated. That is in very   on. Just don’t interfere when the gator gets them locked in
      residents with a plethora of problems (one of our editor’s   poor taste.                             the jaws of death reality game. Bring a supply of depends
      favorite words by the way along with tertiary).       d) Buy her another gift of greater value and see if she   as we feel they all will soil their undergarments from fear.
         So, we start off with some very complex problems and   acknowledges her second gift. Some suggestions would      There are no answers to share from last week’s
      we will continue to do our best to help those that cannot   be a free Botox treatment, free one hour consult with a   questions as our Senior VP of Answers has taken a leave
      help themselves.                                   divorce attorney, or free time share in Albania.  of absence due to unknown medical reasons.
         1.  I  live  with  my  folks  in  Panache,  and  I  have  a      5. My wife and I took our kids to Disneyworld. We      So, until next time, the entire staff wishes everyone
      dilemma. I was in the closet of my parents bedroom   went with another couple, and we had some serious   good luck and good health as the world is getting a bit
      looking for something and I saw my dad in the bathroom   problems. The other couple is fine health-wise, but they   crazier than ever.
      trying on women’s clothing. I almost passed out. He did   brought a walker and a cane and faked injuries to get to      One final note – a resident has turned into our Lost and
      not see me as I slipped out of the room when he closed   the front of the line for every attraction. My kids were   Found department a pacemaker, knee brace, horse collar,
      the bathroom door. Please Advisor, help me. I have no   crying as we waited in line for hours while the other   upper dentures, a satellite dish, and a partridge in a pear
      idea what to do.                                   couple went on rides two and three times. We don’t think   tree. If any of these items are yours, stop in the office as
         a) We have a cross dressing expert on retainer, and   this was right. Can the Advisor provide some help on how   soon as possible. If unclaimed by our next column, they
      he/she informs us that this type of behavior needs more   we should have managed this. We do not think we can be   will be put up for sale on Ebay.
      information  to  provide  you  with  a  proper  reply.  For   friendly with these people after this experience.
      instance, did your dad also put on lipstick, eye liner and      a) Take your three iron and pretend their knees are a      The author of this Advice Column, Alan Arnold lives
      mascara. If so, we wonder if he is a sales rep for Avon   golf ball. Take a full backswing and whack all four knees   in Southwinds, Meridiana, La Paz, and has a seasonal
      or another cosmetic company and was just getting ready   like you were hitting out of deep fescue rough on the golf   rental in the Edgewater Estates. 
      to make some sales calls.
         b) COVID has created some very unusual behavior.
      Check his underwear drawer and see if he has Spanx. If so,   YOU have a choice who YOUR Physical Therapist can be.
      your dad has a problem that he needs to get professional        Outpatient Physical Therapy in your home.
      help for. Click on this link for professional advice – www.                                                        YES we come to YOU!
         c) Does your mother by chance wear Jockey underwear
      and torn tee shirts. Might be a clue to a more serious
      family problem. Usually, problems like these are genetic.   - Orthopedic & Sports Injuries               - Manual Therapy, Soft Tissue & Joint
      Get a free trial subscription for and see if   - Pre/Post-Surgical Rehabilitation                                      - Mobilization
      your family tree will provide you with some answers.  - Chronic Pain & Aches                                           - Vestibular Rehabilitation
         d) The only explanation we can offer is that he must   - Strains/Sprains                                   - Balance/Fall Prevention Training
      have been going to a Purim party.                                                                            - Therapeutic / Corrective Exercise
         2. My wife always nags me about wearing a tie when   - Headaches and Migraines                                      - Jaw Dysfunction & Pain
      we go out. She insists I should always look well-dressed,
      but I can barely make a knot due to severe arthritis and    Dr. Jenna Platt, DPT                                 10 years of Experience
      carpel tunnel in both hands. I feel she is being unfair. Can
      you offer some suggestions?                               Experience the highest quality care on YOUR road to recovery!
         a) Wear a bowtie.
         b) Go to a Dollar Store and buy an already knotted
      tie. This should resolve this problem.
         c) We feel your wife is not being unreasonable since   OFFICE 561-907-8866                                            MEDICARE PART B/
      you tie one on just about every night.                                                        PRIVATE PAY ACCEPTED
         d)  Remember  your  vows  –  for  better  or  worse.                                    See Google Reviews
      Unfortunately for you it is for worse.
         3. COVID has destroyed my social life. I used to date
      often but the virus seems to have created so much fear
      in people that I might as well be a monk. I did however
      thru a stroke of good luck happen to meet a very special
         The problem is she wants to take it very slow. I need
      advice on what I should do as taking it slow is the last
      thing I wanted to hear.
         a) Go with the flow. Take it slow. If you really like
      this woman just follow her lead.                        Stylish Modern Atmosphere     Make Reservations                       happy hour
         b)  Find  out  exactly  what  her  definition  of  slow  is.                                                              every Day 3 - 6 pm
      We need to find out if she is talking about days, weeks,
      or months so we can better understand the situation. But                                                                      and Mon. - Thurs.
      since we know you are no spring chicken we suggest                                                                           all Day at Bar Only
      moving on if she is talking about months before getting
      intimate.                                                                                                                    Lunch SpeciaLS
         c) Buy her a 5-carat diamond engagement ring. We
      feel slow will no longer be an issue. But make sure you                                                                         every Day
      get a low interest rate on your loan.                                                                                                   $
         d) We did a background check and found out your lady                                                                          starting at  9
      friend got left back in fifth grade and got a combined
      score of 243 on her college SATs. We assume she simply
      is a slow learner and slow in just about all activities. Her
      nickname in high school was turtle – cruel but obviously
         4. My sister and I gave the exact same wedding gift
      to a good friend of ours. My sister got a thank you note

            Attention Dog Owners

         It is your responsibility to pick up after your dog.
                      It’s the law.
          Some of you have been negligent in doing so.
                    Please keep our
            Boca Pointe community beautiful!
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