Page 3 - PGA Community News - April '20

April 2020
From The Editor: Join the Club…
A while ago, I stopped by
the supermarket in Jupiter on
my way to the office. While
waiting in the express line,
I saw one of my favorite
cashiers in the next line.
She is always very pleasant
and personable. She has
a hearing impairment and
wears a hearing aid in each
ear. I saw her start to engage
in a conversation, signing
with 2 hearing impaired young women and then I noticed
a toddler sitting in the carriage and all three of them were
signing, thank you, and signing with the toddler. The child
April 2020 PGA C.A.N.!, Page 3
responded with the same thank you sign. I thought to myself I believe that our ability to speak is a gift and we
how adorable the child was and then my mind was diverted should value every word that emanates from our mouths.
to the woman in front of me in my line when she blurted I developed that belief at an early age when I saw my
out, “Oh **** (expletive), I forgot to ring up my water in father endure the ravages of cancer. When I was five years
the bottom of the cart.” She said it loud enough that people old my father was diagnosed with throat cancer and was
ten feet from her could hear it. I looked at her but she had no treated with radiation. It actually burned his skin and left
reaction, no apology. It must be a common part of her speech. scars. He had smoked cigarettes many years before. At
The incongruity became apparent to me. The hearing- that time, the popular belief was that a period of 7 years
impaired women, who are unable to speak, would give without a recurrence of cancer meant you would survive.
anything to be able to utter one word and the woman who My father dispelled that belief for us. In the eighth year
speaks does not realize the value of every word she utters. after the initial treatment, he was diagnosed with cancer
Our speech is a choice we make. When did it become of the larynx and advised that it would require surgery,
acceptable to use profanity so casually? They were never a laryngectomy. i.e. removal of his larynx aka voice box
used by my parents or my family in the normal course of aka Adam’s apple. No speech after the surgery!!! He
speaking. would not have the ability to speak like you and I do. His
choices were a portable device placed against his throat
to magnify an attempt at speech or learning to speak again
by formulating words from his diaphragm. He chose the
latter.
Twice a week he and my mother would travel two
hours by subway to the Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in
Manhattan for speech therapy and lessons. First, he had to
learn to formulate the sounds. After months of practicing
sounds, he tried to speak a word. He would control his
diaphragm so that air was forced through his esophagus
to form the word. My father excelled in his class. We were
so proud of him and showered him with the affirmation
he so justly deserved. Most people in his class could not
achieve what he did. His first exercise with a group of
words was a nursery rhyme. I can still hear him saying,
“Lazy bones sitting in the sun, how you gonna get your
work done?” Can you picture a sixty year old man excited
to recite those words? If you witnessed it or experienced it,
you would recognize the value of every word you speak.
My father did so well, the doctor asked him to teach the
other patients and he gladly volunteered his time.
Years ago, I was listening to National Public Radio and
heard a story about McKay Hatch, a 14 year old junior
high school student from South Pasadena, California. He
started the NO CUSSING CLUB in school because he said,
“some of my friends would cuss and use dirty language
all the time. They did it so much they didn’t even realize
they were doing it.” McKay challenged his friends to
stop and they accepted the challenge. Within a month he
had 50 students in the club. When McKay started high
school he got approval from the faculty to start the Club
and on the first day he had 100 members. They started
a website and now have over 22,000 members in every
state and 33 countries around the world. After the media
began to cover the story the membership doubled. There
is now a Facebook Page. The movement has broadened
to anti-bullying and avoiding peer pressure. Their motto
is “Leave People Better Than You Found Them.” Their
objective has broadened to look for opportunities everyday
to help people and lift them up through their words and
actions. McKay has been on “The Tonight Show with Jay
Leno,” “ Dr. Phil” and most of the news shows. Quite an
accomplishment for one teenage boy! Of course, there
are skeptics and naysayers. Some say it is a waste of time
because words have no meaning. Some have even raised
the issue of Freedom of Speech.
Humans have a greater capacity to destroy than to
create. It takes 9 months to create a human life and years
of nurturing which can all be taken away in seconds in
an act of violence. Words do have meaning. One word or
one sentence can destroy a family or a relationship. Once
a word is uttered it cannot be taken back. Expletives, in
particular, are never used to express a positive idea or an
endearing phrase. It takes months or years to build trust
and love between 2 persons. Once a word is uttered it can
destroy that trust and love – and never be taken back.
The No Cussing Club website expresses its philosophy
as follows:
“Your words become your thoughts. Your thoughts become
your behavior. Your behavior becomes your character.
Your character becomes your destiny.”
I challenge you to value each word you speak and join
the Club.
Until next month…
James A. Cioffi
Editor
james@jcclaw.com