Page 12 - Boca Exposure - January '21

Page 12, Boca Exposure
Reality Check √ - Healthy Answers

On Living And Loving Life: ‘Denial Or Acceptance’

By Dale Brown, B.S., the rescue, there are still some people who seem to deny the know intuitively that something is wrong with their
M.A., C.E.C. Dale is a very existence of this deadly disease. marriage, but refuse to face the reality that infidelity might
motivational speaker who It’s not unusual to reject problems that you’re facing. be the cause. Rather than confront the truth, they continue
has spent many years as a Denial is a natural defense mechanism that distorts reality. in the relationship as though nothing is wrong. As difficult
Certified Life Coach and has It’s a mental process that humans use to protect themselves as it is for the parties involved to face reality, it might be
written numerous articles by blocking anything threatening from their awareness. the best way to force remediation by way of counseling,
and e-books relating to self- By refusing to accept the truth you are spared the pain separation, or divorce.
improvement and ways to you feel about the uncertainty of a situation. It gives you a When denial becomes habitual, your mind believes that
build a high-performance false sense of security that allows you to continue without what you perceive is actually true. Whatever your form of
team. Her education and making changes. denial you practice (blaming, rationalizing, or minimizing),
years of experience in Denial is automatic and not usually done deliberately to lie it can become so credible that it creates a road block to your
physical fitness and training or willfully deceive. Denial distorts people’s perception and moving in a forward direction.
of elite athletes has enabled her to sharpen her knowledge in impairs their judgment. They find it impossible to see things How can you break the cycle of denial?
many health-related areas. The following is one in a series of clearly, and actually believe in their perceived reality. That “There is no gain without pain.” Sometimes in order to
columns devoted to many topics that deal with the mind/body is, until the shoe drops and they are forced to make a change. grow or evolve you must face a problem head on. If you
connection and the importance of living a healthy lifestyle. We are all human and undoubtedly in denial about find yourself using a form of denial to make your problems
Dale, a Bocaire resident, can be reached at dalebrown@ something: our relationships, behavior, health, or family. disappear, try looking deeper into what might be causing the
lovingmondays.com. We all want everything to “be okay,” and so we find ways to denial. Emotions such as feeling lost, confused, or scared are
It’s a new year and, speaking for myself, I can say, avoid the worst-case scenario. sometimes difficult to admit.
“Good riddance to 2020.” It will no doubt go down in the What are some common forms of denial? Questions to ask yourself might be:
history books as one of the worst years ever, at least in my One is to minimize a problem by making light of it. A Why am I in denial and how is it helping me with my
lifetime. It was wrought with insurmountable problems, a friend of mine is a good example of someone who refuses to problem? The first thing is to admit to yourself that you may
disastrous pandemic, economic crisis, evictions, foreclosures, change her lifestyle, even at the risk of jeopardizing her health not be seeing things clearly. You might find you are protecting
unemployment, topped off with a nail-biting election. during this pandemic. She shrugs off the danger of infection yourself from the consequences of a situation.
We all want it to be over; we want life the way it was before by saying, “Things aren’t that bad, I’ll be fine”. What’s too painful to face? It might be a friend who is
and look to 2021 for happier days ahead. Although there is Another pattern of denial is to rationalize or justify your treating you badly. You can’t bear to lose the friendship by
a glimmer of hope on the horizon with a vaccine coming to actions. While traveling in Europe on my way to my hotel, I confronting the problem, so you make light of it or justify
was dragging my suitcase over cobblestones and turned my the behavior.
Why am I scared of the truth? What would happen if you
Poet’s Corner: ankle. I heard a crack, but refused to believe I had actually told your friend your true feelings? How bad could it be?
broken my foot. I rationalized by saying, “I’ll just ice it and

it’ll get better on its own.” Of course, it didn’t and, upon my
Who do I trust to help me with my problem? Find someone
Ode To New return home, my doctor fitted me for a boot that I wore for to confide in who could help you talk it out.

the next six weeks.
In general, the process of denial is not unhealthy. It’s
a natural response and not a sign of one’s lack of value or

Denial may also be seen in those who blame others
Year’s Eve for their circumstances, rather than taking ownership. For worth. However, when someone uses denial as a means to
instance, a co-worker complained that she lost her job because
handle problems on a regular basis, it can become a crutch
her boss was tougher on women than men. She denied any
to deal with life’s hardships. Rather than turning your head,
wrongdoing and claimed, “I worked harder than anyone else try tackling problems openly and honestly. You might find it
By Jerry Yass, a Broken in the company. He just doesn’t like women.” can be a growth experience that offers you new opportunities
Sound Club member, who Denial often happens in relationships. Couples may and challenges that would otherwise be missed.
wrote this on Jan. 1, 2018.
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