Page 12 - Boca ViewPointe - September '21

Page 12, Viewpointe September 2021
Boca Pointe Advisor – Special Mailbox Issue

NOT YOUR TYPICAL wrote – “Are you people you for libel, character defamation and discrimination. My
A couple from Palamar
wife and I both stutter, have birth deformities with different
ADVICE COLUMN morons? I googled all your size legs, and have eye twitches due to Lyme disease. We are
names and could not find any incensed that you would stoop so low as to write about things
By Alan Arnold record of you. Your advice was you know nothing about. We will track you down, waterboard
the most idiotic stuff we have you and force you to eat lima beans until you gag.
FINALLY – let’s share what our readers have to say!!! ever read. You must have a A single woman from Southwinds who is a member of the
staff of imbeciles.” club sent a profanity laced letter that made our entire staff feel
We received five mailboxes filled with threatening, Many expletives were terrible. She followed our advice about going out with other
abusive, negative feedback in reaction to our expert deleted in their reply. This women and only go to dark places. She did that and fell down
advice shared with residents in dire need of help. Many clearly fell into the negative a flight of stairs leading into a private room and broke her leg,
envelopes contained an unidentified white powder that category. fractured an ankle, and lost three teeth. She did meet a man,
was sent to the FBI for analysis. No results have come A single man from LaPaz POSITIVE but he will be long gone once she comes out of rehab.
back yet but we believe these envelopes contained threatened to charge the offices An elderly woman from Imperial Royale followed our
Johnson and Johnson baby powder which was recently of The Advisor, put us all in handcuffs and force us to listen advice regarding riding in elevators. She got stuck in one for
identified as a toxic substance, so we felt the comments to twelve straight hours of James Taylor singing. He followed three hours with her service animal (llama) and could not find
enclosed were most likely negative. our advice on how-to pick-up women and got arrested for the alarm button since she can barely see due to mango sized
We received one mailbox with a few positive soliciting. He apparently misunderstood our instructions. cataracts.
comments. Most also had postage due. Two residents of El Viento told The Advisor they are now And to finish the negative sampling we share these
Apparently, we did not meet their expectations and in a halfway house as they got hooked on phonics due to our comments from a widow from Panache who is known as The
are conducting follow up calls to determine what went advice. We have no further details other than our entire staff Black Widow since she has buried 2 husbands. My parakeet
wrong. was told to sleep with one eye open. has more brains than you jerks. If any of my husbands were
Some sample comments below reflect the general An elderly couple in Encantada followed our advice and still alive, they would be turning over in their graves reading
consensus of our readers. wrote us from the state penitentiary. They wound up beating your nonsense. I would be interested in dating the editor since
My husband and I followed your advice. We have since the heck out of each other over the TV remote control. as they say – third time is a charm.
separated and will be filing for divorce. Are you people A resident of Montego Bay was so incensed with our The above are a sampling of the negative feedback we
idiots? Your advice ruined our marriage and caused our financial advice that she declared bankruptcy, had her house received. We did however provide some help and good advice
children to leave home for a shelter. foreclosed on, and was last seen pushing a shopping cart on and we share with you the below which represents a happy
Palmetto Park Road. She bought high and sold low and blames satisfied resident.
us. No question our advice was lost in translation as she only Dear Advisor – keep up the good work. This from a single
speaks Farsi. older man in assisted living in Edgewater Estates.
A woman from Villa Flora went thru an unsuccessful sex With this type of feedback, myself and my staff will try
change operation as a result of advice from our column. She, much harder moving forward. We will revise our interview
or now he has no idea how to get rid of the 350 pairs of shoes process as we look to replace those people who have left us.
she, oops he has that he no longer can wear. We thank everyone for being patient and promise to provide
A recently divorced man asked if any of our staff ever better advice in upcoming columns.
got past the fifth grade and called us total idiots. He was not Let us not forget answers to the last column: bee, be, aunt
specific but here again we considered this reply as a negative. bee, okeydokie, eieio, c, d, d, f, z, none of the above, some
NEGATIVE NEGATIVE And a couple from The Palms issued an injunction to of the below, all of the above, forgot the question, forgot the
prevent the publication of any more advice columns. They answer, just forget about it.
followed our advice and have alienated all their relatives. Until next time, stay safe. Be positive. And remember, the
On behalf of The They no longer get invites to family functions and have gone glass is always half full. But also remember that the glass is
Club at Boca Pointe we into a very deep depression. They are suing The Advisor for always half empty. The important lesson is you know that there
would like to remind their psychiatric bills. We thought they were nuts when they is a glass. Whether it is half full or half empty means nothing.
initially wrote us, and these are the grounds for our defense
our residents that NO in an upcoming civil litigation case. The author of this Advice Column, Alan Arnold lives in
walking, running, A couple from Caravelle wrote: We are so offended by all Southwinds, Meridiana, La Paz, and has a seasonal rental in
bicycle riding or dog your articles that we have retained counsel and will be suing the Edgewater Estates. 
walking is permitted on
the golf course or golf cart paths. For safety
reasons, the paths are for golf carts only.

Thank you for cooperating with The Club's
policy. 

Channel 63.... Servicing PETS of Boca Raton
for over 20 years
Have You Seen It? “Caring is our Specialty”

Comcast cable channel 63 is the Boca Pointe Complete medical, Surgical and Dental
community information channel. Tune in for new Facility SPA Bath & Grooming
information and important updates. The BPCA
Board and committee meetings (held via Zoom)
are posted along with other current events. Check
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out our new format! 

Please Help Move-in ready and fixer upper homes become available everyday

and are waiting for you.
Prior to COVID, Boca Pointe residents were
donating their unused, extra clothing to the homeless. I’ll find you a great home to buy. I always do!
The homeless shelters are now able to accept clothing
again. Please bring any clean, unused clothing that Boca Pointe resident and Realtor
you would like to donate. The drop off location is at
the BPCA office located at 6909 SW 18th St., Suite Nicole Marks, Realtor, GRI, ABR
A120 in the Boardwalk shopping plaza. Due to the www.BuySellBoca.com
generosity of Boca Pointe residents, many homeless
have been given very much needed clothes. Let’s 561-445-8743
continue helping those less fortunate. Thank you!! 