Page 19 - Boca Club News - June '22

Boca Club News, Page 19
Humor: Wilde Times...Sex Education:

Adults May Need a Refresher Course

Carmel, California resident Larry When I was a kid my mother told me I was found in a cabbage But the irony of life is that by the time you’re old enough
Wilde is a former standup comedian patch. I knew that wasn’t true. My friend Jerry Rubino got “the to know your way around, you’re not going anywhere.
and the author of 53 published talk” from his father, who told him the unvarnished facts. So I I received an e-mail recently from my octogenarian
books of humor with sales over knew exactly how people got babies–from the Tooth Fairy. cousin, Morty, who lives in New York City. He wrote: “In
12 million copies. The New York I was in my thirties when I took my 6-year-old niece, Julie, my mailbox this morning I got a leaflet telling me it’s fine
Times has called him “America’s to the zoo. There I discovered that she knew more about the to have sex at 83. That makes me happy because I live at
Best-Selling Humorist.” He has birds and bees than I did. number 81. So it’s not too far to walk home afterwards.”
appeared as a guest on many of the When we got to the stork exhibit I said, “Well, sweetheart, Morty says he’s now at an age that when he sees a pretty
leading TV series. Larry has been a there he is. That’s the big bird that brings the babies!” girl on the street it arouses his memory instead of his hopes.
dear friend of Boca Club News editor Nils A. Shapiro for She rolled her eyes and said, “Uncle Larry, a 20-pound Last week he phoned to tell me he’d just been to see 50
more than 50 years. bird with a 6-foot wingspan carrying an 8-pound baby is an Shades of Grey.
In my house, 50 Shades of Grey is strictly a hair color. aerodynamic impossibility.” “How was it?” I asked him.
But I read that it’s also the title of a movie based on a I said, “Where did you learn that?” He said, “I was so shocked, I could hardly sit through it
bestselling book. Something to do with whips, ropes and She said, “First grade. Sex Education 101.” a third time.”
handcuffs? Those kinds of movies used to be known as Today, human sexuality is taught in 96% of school districts No matter what your opinion is on this subject, there’s
Westerns. But this one sounds more like the kind of film that, in California. one thing we can all agree on. And that is, there’s a lot to be
years ago, would have been banned in Boston. And every But misinformation dies hard. There are still parents who said for sex.
place else. don’t approve of sex education beyond the basics. So a lot of For one thing, it’s useful.
Things are different today. Sex is out in the open, threading confusion remains. It brings people together.
through nearly every aspect of American culture. A second grade class in Marin County had a pop quiz. You never have to worry about what to wear.
So here’s my question. With “making whoopee” displayed The question was: How do we get babies? It’s centrally located.
and discussed practically everywhere, why are so many adults One little boy answered this way: “The fertilized ovum You can take it on trips.
still clueless about the subject? develops into a fetus and after nine months of gestation, You don’t have to buy batteries.
Thank heaven we have sex education in schools. At least periodic rhythmic contractions occur. And that’s when the The bank can’t repossess it.
kids know the truth. Studies show that if teaching the facts baby is brought through the window by the dragon.” It’s the best dessert on the Weight Watchers diet.
of life were left up to parents, 80% of them would tell their Fortunately, there’s more information available for kids When there’s nothing on television, it’s more fun than
kids they were brought by the stork. The tragedy is that 50% today than at any other time in history. Scrabble.
of those parents actually believe that story. The rest are mad My sister Mimi Krovetz’s 16-year old grandson went to If you give up smoking, it gives you something to do with
at the Easter Bunny. visit her when she lived at Broken Sound Club in Boca Raton, your hands.
I read on the Internet (so it must be true) about a woman Florida. One day she sat him down for a stern talk. “What’s On Valentine’s Day it makes a nice gift–if you care enough
who thought Santa Claus brought the babies. After her this condom doing on the veranda?” she demanded. to give the very best.
fifteenth child she booby-trapped the chimney. He said, “Grandma, what’s a veranda?” And it’s sanctioned by the church–as long as you don’t
On Christmas Eve her husband dressed up as Santa, I wish they’d had sex education when I was a kid. I enjoy it too much.
climbed down the chimney, hit the trap, and it blew the Ho! almost flunked my honeymoon. But my generation had to But best of all, it’s just like roller skating. Once you learn
Ho! Ho! right out of him. learn on the job. Not that I’m complaining. Home schooling you never forget.
To this day that poor guy has a Kris without a Kringle. was never more fun.
Film Reviews: Double Feature...

“Dancing on Glass” and “The Dig”

By Nils A. Shapiro consider ourselves fortunate to find one worth watching on Simply out of curiosity I
For the first time in the more than 180 review columns our big-screen TV over dinner that I can consider deserving turned on The Dig, which did
that have appeared in these pages over the 15-plus years of a review, and then switch over to the latest news. indeed turn out to be a brilliant
since Boca Club News was first launched, I have decided Instead, after having been impressed by a beautiful and film based on the event I had
to bring two films to your attention here instead of only emotional film, Dancing on Glass—and before I could turn read about in that book.
one. to the inevitable sadness of the evening’s latest reports on But first things first:
My decision to do so was my wife, Linda’s, and my world events—another film title appeared on the Netflix Dancing on Glass, a film
experience of having been pleasantly surprised to discover screen that vaguely reminded me of an event I recently released this year, opens
two exceptional films on Netflix last night. We usually read about in a major book on archeology. with the scene of a ballerina
stepping onto the roof of a
building. Appearing to be
rehearsing, she gracefully
ARCHIVE GALLERIES times around the roof, then steps to the edge...and jumps off!
leaps and pirouettes several

The scene changes to the rehearsal hall of the ballet

company, where Norma, clearly a stern and feared director,
has brought all of the dancers together to announce who
will be replacing the now deceased lead ballerina—whom
PAYS HIGHER PRICES FOR FINE ART AND ANTIQUES we have just seen leap to her death—in the title role of an
upcoming production of the ballet, “Giselle.”
When one of the dancers, Irene, is named as the new lead,
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hoped to be the chosen one, clearly seethes with frustration
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And so, amid the glorious music, gorgeous sets and
stunning choreography, the film unwinds with riveting
We Also Purchase Men’s And Ladies’ Items Including: tension wound even more tightly by the demanding—almost
cruel—domineering dance director, Norma, whose constant
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from the cast, telling her that she will never dance again.
All of this leads to a shocking, powerfully dramatic final
One Piece Or Entire Contents Purchased scene, which the media critics in Spain not only accepted,
but even made special note to point out with praise that
CALL NOW FOR A FREE CONSULTATION, NO OBLIGATION director and co-screenwriter Jorge Naranjo has left his
audience to interpret the meaning of the film’s ending.
I must admit that, as one who prefers that the
director provide clear closure and explanation of a film’s
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Film Review: on page 20