Page 3 - The Jewish Voice - February '20

The Jewish Voice, Page 3
Honor Your Father and
Mother
By Rabbi Shlomo Ezagui
We are all familiar
with the commandment to
“honor your father and your
mother….” This is one of the
few commandments in the
Bible, G-d promises reward
in this world. “… In order that
your days are lengthened...”
To what degree are we
obligated to respect our
parents?
Our sages point out that a person should always appreciate
what has been done for him, and not be ungrateful. He should
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From the rabbis
therefore take to heart all the energy and effort his parents he continued to sit in silence. Moreover, when the shoe fell
from her hand, he lifted it up and handed it back to her.
have exhausted in raising and nurturing him, and show them
appreciation. This will also habituate the individual to focus On another occasion, there were those who wanted to
and pay attention to all the good that G-d bestows upon him. purchase some precious stones from this same Dama the son
The commandment to respect one’s parents is so great that of Nesina for the breast plate the high priest would wear in the
in G-d’s eyes it is considered equal to the respect and honor holy temple. An offer was made to pay a huge sum of money
required to show G-d Himself. for these precious stones. Dama turned down the offer because
Our sages instruct us, “Even if one’s parents takes his pouch the key to the box that held the precious stones was under the
filled with golden coins and throws it into the sea, in front of pillow of his sleeping father, and the box with the precious
his eyes, he should not shame them, nor shout, nor show anger stones was under his father’s legs.
in their presence. Rather, he should accept the decree of G-d The Talmud says G-d rewarded this Dama with a very rare
(‘Honor your father and mother’) in silence.” animal in his herd. From the sale of this animal, Dama made
We learn to what extent one must go to respect one’s parents more money than his missed opportunity a year earlier.
from Dama the son of Nesina, a commoner from Ashkelon. The great Rabbi Tarfon treated his mother, who was a very
Once, while sitting in the company of Roman noblemen, his short woman, with such great respect that whenever she wanted
mentally disturbed mother approached him, tore off the gold- to go to sleep, he would bend down, allowing her to climb onto
embroidered silk cloak he was wearing, hit him on the head, his back and into bed. Likewise, whenever she got out of bed,
spat in his face, and took a shoe and hit him. Despite all this, she would step down onto him and then onto the floor.
Rabbi Tarfon once came to the house of study to speak from
personal example on the subject of honoring one’s parents.
Rabbi Tarfon’s colleagues told him. “You have not yet reached
even half of the honor required to show one’s parents. Has your
mother ever thrown your wallet into the sea in your presence
and you did not shame her?”
One Sabbath, while Rabbi Tarfon’s mother was walking,
her shoe straps tore. Rabbi Tarfon placed his hands on the
ground so his mother could walk upon them, step by step, until
she reached her bed.
he would say, “I shall stand before the approaching footsteps
Whenever Rabbi Yosef heard the footsteps of his mother,
of the presence of G-d” (who commanded we respect and show
honor to one’s parents).
No matter how one’s parents behave, a person never has
the right to be disrespectful to his parents.
Rabbi Shlomo Ezagui is spiritual leader of Chabad
House Lubavitch of Palm Beach. Contact him at
Rabbi@chabadpalmbeach.org, 624-7004, or www.
featuring chabadpalmbeach.org.
Historian Gil Troy Lord, Give Me Patience —
and Activist and Give It to Me NOW!
By Rabbi Dovid Vigler
If the dreams of your
retirement aren’t turning out
to be as blissful as you hoped
for, there’s some beautiful
inspiration in the Torah that
can set your mind at ease.
When our forefather
Jacob arrives in Egypt, this
effectively marks the onset
of the Egyptian exile and
what ultimately becomes the
Passover story. Many years prior, G-d had already revealed
to Abraham that his descendants would suffer in Egypt for
the duration of their time there. Yet, incredibly, the vast
majority of time that the Jewish nation spends in Egypt is
peaceful and tranquil. Of the 210 years we lived in Egypt, it
was only in the last 86 years that we were actually enslaved
and persecuted.
Indeed, the Torah tells us that Jacob lived out the best
years of his life in Egypt. What happened to the prophecy of
doom? Was he vacationing in Gaza? Our sages explain that
the purpose of suffering is to force us to seek out a relationship
with G-d. And we see daily how people turn to G-d during
death, illness, and recessions. Stress breaks our ego and forces
us to seek answers in a higher power.
But if you are smart enough to forge a meaningful
relationship with G-d on your own terms, then you won’t need
to suffer your way to such a relationship. This is exactly what
02.24.20 happened in Egypt. The Torah tells us that even before Jacob
arrived in Egypt, he established a yeshiva there where Torah
was studied day and night. As long as Jacob and his sons
7 p.m. were alive, the study of Torah was flourishing in the Egyptian
Jewish community, and there was no need to stress them out
with any other headaches to motivate them to connect with
their Maker. But when the last of the 12 tribes passed, the
next generation of Egyptian Jews abandoned the study of
Torah. Little wonder that very soon after, the suffering of
the Egyptian slavery began.
Our sages eloquently express this truth in the Ethics of
the Fathers: “Anyone who accepts upon himself the burden
of Torah has the headaches of earning a living removed
from him; anyone who abandons the burden of Torah has
the headaches of earning a living cast upon him.”
There is no free lunch. G-d refuses to allow us to retire
in Florida stress free. That is not what we were created
From the Rabbis on page 4
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