Page 8 - Boca Expsoure - June '20

Page 8, Boca Exposure
Reality Check √… Healthy Answers

On Living And Loving Life: ‘Together Alone’

By Dale Brown, B.S., Here are some ideas that might help. that happen, rather than let them get you down. Laughter
M.A., C.E.C. Dale is a Show appreciation – Hug more often…there is is a great stress reliever.
motivational speaker who nothing that helps you both feel better and calm you down. Change it up –Be creative. Make one night “date
has spent many years as a High stress brings out coping skills. Say thank you when night.” Set the table with linen and china, candles, and a
Certified Life Coach and has you see your partner doing something good, even if he’s good bottle of wine to complete the mood. Dress for the
written numerous articles done it before. occasion, as if you were stepping out. Hanging around
and e-books relating to self- Form new boundaries – Don’t assume that just all day in pajamas or sweats can get old! Play cards, dig
improvement and ways to because you’re both home all day that your time for out your backgammon set or Scrabble.
build a high-performance each other is endless. Draw lines that show respect for Stay Connected – We are fortunate to be able to
team. Her education and one another by asking, “Is this a good time to talk?” connect with family and friends virtually. You may never
years of experience in Recognize that everyone needs space to be alone. have heard of Zoom before being stuck at home. Tune
physical fitness and training Communicate – Schedule a time to talk about how in to talk, laugh, sing or even dance from a distance.
of elite athletes has enabled her to sharpen her knowledge you’re feeling. Ask what you can do to make his day Facetime a friend, text, email, do whatever you have to
in many health-related areas. The following is one in a easier. Neither of you read minds, so try asking questions do to join the human race.
series of columns devoted to many topics that deal with to better understand your partner’s point of view. Listen No one knows how life will look a year from now. We
the mind/body connection and the importance of living a before offering solutions, and be open to making changes may “all be in this together” for longer than we know. As
healthy lifestyle. Dale, a Bocaire resident, can be reached that involve you. with any other crisis, humans have had to endure. There is
at dalebrown@lovingmondays.com. Laugh a little – Sometimes a little levity goes a long always some good that comes from it. In the end, all we
How are you holding up during this crazy pandemic? way. Listening to the news can bum you out, especially have are our relationships to make us realize how much
We may “all be in this together,” but nothing in our if you have it on all day long. Go to YouTube and watch we really need and depend on one another. Be well and
lifetime has been more surreal. We are faced with replays of comedians you like, or reruns of a TV series stay safe!
challenges we could never have envisioned as few as that made you laugh. Try to see the humor in situations
five months ago. The enemy confronting us is faceless
on our emotions and causes us to behave in ways that are Dining Out: Do I Go…Or Don’t Go?
and insidious, affecting each of us differently. It plays

not the norm. Stress is the common denominator we all
share that currently defines our lives. By Alan Serinsky of Bocaire. my car. I envision patiently waiting in a queue on marked
When the “stay-at-home order” was issued, my Hungry Al’s love of food started spaces for my table assignment. I witness masked and
husband and I were already self-quarantining since we had young. Never satisfied at the gloved waiters depositing paper menus in the hands of
traveled outside the country. We hustled to get supplies family dinner table with his patrons who occupy this half-filled restaurant.
that would last us two weeks, never imagining it would Mom’s dishes, he started to cook I’m also disappointed to have most of my favorite
be longer than that. Here it is eight weeks later, and still his own way through her Betty menu selections substituted because of recent food
the future looks bleak. Life as we knew it before we left Crocker cookbook. His food shortages or distribution issues.
on Feb. 20, will never be the same. As we tried to adjust journey consisted of working What, no music?
to this new life of being together alone, it took on a whole many restaurants both as server and cook, attending numerous We all have many of the same reasons for going out
new personality. Ordering groceries using Instacart, racing cooking classes, and traveling the world in an effort to expand to eat. Of course, the ultimate reason is not having to
through Costco like the guy from the TV show Grocery his palette of different flavors and cuisines. As a professional cook another meal at home. But then there is the relaxed
Games, and cooking every meal, every day. writer, Hungry Al will give you his perspective on current food freedom of simply enjoying our time together alone,
Being together is nothing new to most couples, trends and guide you through your local restaurant choices. or with our friends and family. But in this imaginary
especially if you have years under your belt. The Food for Thought: We are now almost at the moment situation all I can feel is anxiety within myself and all
difference now is trying to adjust to a routine without of “reopening” and I, like many of you, are debating the around me.
socializing with friends and family, eating out, going to risks and joys of dining out in our new world. It’s early So, the $64,000 question: Do I go or don’t go? Here
the gym, and being out of the house a good deal of the May and I’m imagining what it would be like to have a we all have to independently weigh our risk factors. For
time. Take that away and you’re left with a void that may night out on the town. me, I’m going to give it more time. I decided I’m just fine
be difficult to fill. How you handle stress during your In normal times, I would be sitting at the bar with with our fun in the kitchen together baking and cooking
alone time is critical to maintaining the quality of your Hungry D. and enjoying an evening of not having to new recipes. And I’m also comfortable with an occasional
relationship. prepare a meal at home, indulging in great conversation, takeout to support our struggling restaurants.
Constantly watching daily news can wreak havoc with tipping our wine glasses in celebration of life, and feeling For my next review, I’m going to introduce you to a new
your emotions and spill over into your interaction with the energetic vibe of our surroundings. one that barely got off the ground when this pandemic hit
one another. If your partner is anxious it may cause you to But there’s a new reality. I now imagine a new scenario our city. It’s in the Town Center mall and, hopefully, it didn’t
react in a way that you normally wouldn’t. You are more that questions my motives for dining far from my kitchen give up before the coffee got cold. It’s called La Boulangerie
likely to notice things that frustrate you and less able to table. I can see the absence of a curbside valet attending to Café and Bakery, and it’s certainly worth the visit.
stop yourself from controlling a negative response. Stress
makes people more irritable, increasing the potential for
arguments. Safe to say, stress makes everything seem
bigger than it is and less easy to “let things go.”
My husband is the kind of guy who has to be doing
something. He can’t sit still. He has to fill his hours and
days delving into projects, accomplishing something. I’m
more laid back and can easily spend my time reading,
cooking, and practicing yoga. In order for us to adjust Upscale Resale
to this new normal, we had to learn to manage our time
based on our individual needs. We found a balance in
doing things together, such as washing windows, or Experience The Difference
spending time singing karaoke, yet also respecting each
other’s need to be alone. New and consigned furniture, unique lighting, accessories and gifts.
Experiencing stress doesn’t have to spell disaster Complete wallpaper and fabric library for all your design needs.
for your relationship. Being together alone can be an
opportunity to strengthen your bond by sharing your
feelings. You may find a better understanding of what
you need from each other and reach a whole new level
of appreciation. Relationships often become stronger by
finding ways to deal with hard times and sticking together
to ride the tide. You also learn not to take each other for
granted, but rather love and accept individual differences.
What else can you do to manage your stress level?

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