Page 12 - The Jewish Voice - July '20

Page 12, The Jewish Voice

Lifestyles from page 11 Caring for Yourself condition or obtain test results for you) but do not want them
with the Right Estate to have the ability to make decisions. In a stressful situation,
Local Happenings on page 8 outside world as South Florida does for a category five storm. the dissemination of reliable information straight from the
For many, this show was their first glimpse into Orthodox Planning Prescription healthcare provider can be a way to ease tensions and allow
life. As an observant woman myself, I was left shaking my everyone to process what is going on with a level head.
head. While some depictions were accurate, what follows By Anné Desormier- We understand that you are busy and your time is valuable.
below are some of the missing dots Unorthodox failed to Cartwright, Esq. To better assist our clients, we are available to meet by
include in their mini-series and thus missed a golden moment To all frontline and telephone or video conference. We may also be able to use
to give viewers a true window into observant Judaism. As a “essential” workers: Thank remote procedures for the signing and executing of your
disclaimer, I do not hail from the Satmar Chassidim; rather, I you for all of your hard work documents, eliminating the need for you to come into our office
belong to Chabad and as such our lives are quite different, yet – day in and day out (and at all. Your estate planning should not have to wait until you
we are also much the same. often evenings, nights, and have a day off. Give us a call so we can get started caring for
The Satmar community is a self-contained group that weekends). You tirelessly you right away.
has trained and taught themselves every single trade, to the give of yourself to care for If you have questions about this article or your estate plan
extent that they are completely self-sufficient, including some of the most vulnerable and what documents are necessary schedule a consultation
having installed their own ambulance and police departments people in our society. Whether today by calling our office at (561) 694-7827, Anné Desormier-
composed of their own people. I think viewers would have you are caring for them in a Cartwright, Esq., Elder & Estate Planning Attorneys PA, 480
been mindblown to see that, unlike the scene where Yanky, hospital, therapy room, or patient’s home, you are there to Maplewood Drive, Suite 3, Jupiter, FL 33458.
the desperate husband in search of his runaway wife, is talking protect and help the patient gain a better tomorrow. The content of this article is general and should not be relied
into a cellphone like an imbecile asking Siri to help find his However, one important question remains. What have you upon without review of your specific circumstances by competent
wife, every single profession exists in the Satmar community done to prepare for your own care? Working together, we can legal counsel. Reliance on the information herein is at your
— including technology, real estate, and appliances. They are craft the best possible estate planning prescription that will own risk, as it expresses no opinion by the firm on your specific
Instagram influencers and makeup artists and code writers. protect you today, tomorrow and well into the future using the circumstances or legal needs. An attorney client relationship is
Unorthodox deprived their viewers of the opportunity best legal tools available. not created through the information provided herein.
to see and learn about what a warm and loving community A revocable living trust is an excellent way to manage and
looks like. Where people look out for each other like family. protect your money and property. Contrary to what some may The Single Scene Column
Where there is mutual trust and respect among its residents. I think, you don’t have to have lots of money and property to
found it incredibly difficult to believe that a girl could suffer benefit from a trust. The two major players involved in a trust Decoding Our New Dating Language
so much in such a community and not have a single friend. are the trustee and the beneficiary. During your lifetime, as
Not one confidante to help her through her troubles. This was long as you are able and choose to do so, you can act as the By Kelly Leary, M.S.,
especially misleading and a very inaccurate depiction of this trustee and can control all money and property in the trust. Founder and President
community. In fact, when Deborah Feldman, of whom this However, when you are managing the money and property, The love business is booming
story was based, was asked what she missed most from her you are now doing so as the trustee and not as the individual with new clients and engagement
old life, she said it was this sense of family, it simply doesn’t owner. In addition to serving as the initial trustee, you are also notifications post-lockdown. I
exist anywhere else. Sadly, this was omitted from the show. the beneficiary. This means that although you have transferred can’t count how many dynamic
In fact, there was not a single sympathetic character in the your money and property into the trust, you are still the one duos will be enjoying the
entire feature, other than, of course, the enlightened friends in receiving the benefits of that money and property. fireworks together because of
Berlin who were to show Esti her new path to happiness. What In the event you are unable to act (i.e., you become us. Summertime is the kick-off
struck me, however, was that even among those there was one incapacitated) or pass away, the individual you have named of The Cuffing Season, the time
friend who was harshest to this newcomer who was trying so as your successor trustee will step in and manage the money when finding a girlfriend or
hard to fit in. It was the Israeli. Coincidence? I don’t think so. and property according to the instructions you have included boyfriend becomes even more
Unorthodox missed the opportunity to show what a Jewish in the written trust agreement. Even if you are still alive when appealing as the countdown to the holidays is only six months
marriage looks like. Very unlike what was portrayed on the big the successor takes over, it will be the successor trustee’s away. Plus, we are all a little more responsibly “free” than we
screen, Jewish sexuality is embraced and cherished, dissimilar responsibility to manage and use the money and property for were in the Spring. Twenty/Twenty has been tough on us all,
to other religions that shy away from it and abstain altogether. your benefit. Then, upon your passing, the successor trustee but it’s about to turn around! The second half of the year will
Jewish sexuality is when a husband and wife unite in complete is required to hold or distribute the money and property in the make you smile with appreciation and hope.
unity, and this means that there is no barrier between them, trust according to the instructions in the trust instrument. This In the wake of our “new normal,” I have decided to bring
no sheets, no clothing, and no ill will. According to Jewish transition of trusteeship between you and your successor trustee you up to date on the new “terms” being used on the dating
law, a couple cannot sleep together if there is no love between happens without court involvement, making it quick and private. scene. As always, meeting through introduction by a friend is
them. The notion that a man should force himself on his wife A financial power of attorney allows the trusted person the best way to go...and that is what we recreate at my club.
regardless of her feelings and completely void of affection is you choose (your “agent”) to handle your financial matters on So Ready-Set-Go. Be aware and enjoy the next chapter of
not only preposterous, but contrary to what Torah mandates. your behalf. The agent can handle a wide variety of transactions your life. Knowledge is power. The power of love knows no
Unorthodox portrayed a lovely chuppah scene upon the from signing checks to opening a bank account to filing your boundaries but first we must know who we are dating and what
couple’s marriage. What they missed, however, was the most taxes, depending upon the authority you grant that individual goes on “Behind the Screens!” (Yikes). Online daters beware
important part: the ketubah, the marriage contract the groom in the power of attorney. This can be a helpful tool if you are today more than ever before...and social media lovers...heed
committed to his bride. Possibly the oldest document in history incapacitated, bedridden, or just unavailable to engage in the my advice. It’s just too easy to get into trouble if you are dating
protecting the woman, this document specifies all the ways a necessary transaction. The beauty of this document is that you via the internet in any way. In this day and age, dating begins
husband must take care of his wife, including providing her can customize it so that you will have the assistance you need, and ends with our smart phones. So, let’s get smarter.
with food and clothing and pleasing her sexually. Amazingly, when you need it, based on your individual situation and wishes. Learn the New Dating Dictionary, circa 2020:
the ketubah makes no mention at all as to what a wife must As you are probably well aware, a medical power Micro-Cheating: Inappropriate flirting or contact with
do for her husband. Unorthodox fell flat by failing to illustrate of attorney allows you to name a trusted individual to another that lacks physical touch. It goes beyond emotional
Judaism as being the first purveyors of women’s rights. communicate your medical wishes in the event you are unable infidelity, in that this usually occurs on an electronic device
Perhaps one of the most emotional scenes in the entire to do so. It is important that you choose someone you trust in one way or another. How do you know if you have crossed
series was watching Esti’s hair being forcibly removed the because you will not be able to oversee your agent’s decisions. the line? If you are doing anything you would not want your
day after her wedding. While I do know that if a girl was It is equally important that you convey your wishes to this partner knowing about (when it comes to dating or flirting)
uncomfortable with this practice she could opt out, this is not individual clearly. This can be accomplished through the use like texting inappropriately, sending photos or sharing
a Chabad custom. Chabad women do not shave their heads. of a living will or advanced directive. intimate feelings with anyone other than your “exclusive”
What Unorthodox missed is that the reason observant married Additionally, you can execute a HIPAA authorization in the partner, then you are micro-cheating.
women cover their hair is that hair, symbolic of a woman’s event you would like other trusted individuals to have access
beauty, becomes sacred after marriage and is reserved for her to your medical information (i.e., to get a status update on your Lifestyles on page 14
husband alone, just like the rest of her. It is true that many
wigs are much more beautiful than a woman’s natural hair. “Service is our number one priority”
And that’s wonderful! A Jewish woman should not be homely
and unattractive; rather she should take good care of herself 561-743-0070
and look beautiful. Natural hair, even if less attractive than the
wig, takes on a whole new realm, like everything else saved www.palmspoolservices.com
for a special occasion.
Unquestionably, Esti had much pain in her heart. She
needed to do what was best for her to alleviate the strain. This
is her story. We each have a story. Our stories are our own to
tell — so long as we remember that one person’s journey could
not possibly portray the definition of a culture. In this regard,
Unorthodox missed the target.
Rebbetzin Chana Vigler is co-founder of Chabad of Palm
Beach Gardens and Ladies in Leadership Initiative (LiLi)
and co-host of The Sunday Schmooze. Email her at chana@
jewishgardens.com.

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