Page 13 - Boca Club News - January '21

Boca Club News, Page 13
Health & Wellness

Reality Check √ - Healthy Answers on

Living & Loving Life: “Denial or Acceptance”

By Dale Brown, B.S., M.A., C.E.C. resident, can be reached at dalebrown@lovingmondays.com. It’s not unusual to reject problems that you’re facing.
Dale is a motivational speaker who It’s a new year and, speaking for myself, I can say, Denial is a natural defense mechanism that distorts reality.
has spent many years as a Certified “Good riddance to 2020.” It will no doubt go down in the It’s a mental process that humans use to protect themselves
Life Coach and has written numerous history books as one of the worst years ever, at least in my by blocking anything threatening from their awareness. By
articles and e-books relating to self- lifetime. It was wrought with insurmountable problems, refusing to accept the truth you are spared the pain you
improvement and ways to build a high- a disastrous pandemic, economic crisis, evictions, feel about the uncertainty of a situation. It gives you a
performance team. Her education and foreclosures, unemployment, topped off with a nail-biting false sense of security that allows you to continue without
years of experience in physical fitness election. making changes.
and training of elite athletes has We all want it to be over; we want life the way it was Denial is automatic and not usually done deliberately to
enabled her to sharpen her knowledge in many health-related before and look to 2021 for happier days ahead. Although lie or willfully deceive. Denial distorts people’s perception
areas. The following is one in a series of columns devoted there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon with a vaccine and impairs their judgment. They find it impossible to
to many topics that deal with the mind/body connection and coming to the rescue, there are still some people who seem see things clearly, and actually believe in their perceived
the importance of living a healthy lifestyle. Dale, a Bocaire to deny the very existence of this deadly disease. reality. That is, until the shoe drops and they are forced
to make a change.
We are all human and undoubtedly in denial about
something: our relationships, behavior, health, or family.
We all want everything to “be okay,” and so we find ways to
avoid the worst-case scenario.
What are some common forms of denial?
Raymond James Financial Services, Inc. One is to minimize a problem by making light of it. A
friend of mine is a good example of someone who refuses
Arthur Rottenstein Charles A. Hall, III to change her lifestyle, even at the risk of jeopardizing her
Registered Securities President and Founder, C3WM health during this pandemic. She shrugs off the danger of
infection by saying, “Things aren’t that bad, I’ll be fine”.
Principal Financial Advisor, RJFS Another pattern of denial is to rationalize or justify your
561-241-6616 561-465-8902 actions. While traveling in Europe on my way to my hotel, I
ArthurRottenstein@ was dragging my suitcase over cobblestones and turned my
RaymondJames.com charles.hall@raymondjames.com ankle. I heard a crack, but refused to believe I had actually
bocaratonfinancialplanner.com broken my foot. I rationalized by saying, “I’ll just ice it and

301 Yamato Road, Suite 3160 it’ll get better on its own.” Of course, it didn’t and, upon my
Boca Raton, FL 33431 return home, my doctor fitted me for a boot that I wore for
Raymond James Financial Services, Inc. and the next six weeks.
Denial may also be seen in those who blame others

Arthur Rottenstein are pleased for their circumstances, rather than taking ownership. For
instance, a co-worker complained that she lost her job because
her boss was tougher on women than men. She denied any
to announce the addition of wrongdoing and claimed, “I worked harder than anyone else
in the company. He just doesn’t like women.”
Denial often happens in relationships. Couples may know
Charles A. Hall, III intuitively that something is wrong with their marriage,
but refuse to face the reality that infidelity might be the
President and Founder, C3WM, Financial Advisor, RJFS cause. Rather than confront the truth, they continue in the
relationship as though nothing is wrong. As difficult as it is
charles.hall@raymondjames.com for the parties involved to face reality, it might be the best
way to force remediation by way of counseling, separation,
With more than 24 years of experience in financial services, Charles is dedicated or divorce.

When denial becomes habitual, your mind believes that
to helping individuals meet their financial needs by developing investment what you perceive is actually true. Whatever your form of
plans around their long-term goals and risk tolerance. His extensive experience denial you practice (blaming, rationalizing, or minimizing),
it can become so credible that it creates a road block to your
navigating shifts in the markets enables him to help clients structure balanced moving in a forward direction.
portfolios to address their specific financial goals. How can you break the cycle of denial?
“There is no gain without pain.” Sometimes in order to
He began his financial services career in 1996 with FMSbonds, Inc., then grow or evolve you must face a problem head on. If you
moved to First Miami Securities, where he worked for 11 years. From there, he find yourself using a form of denial to make your problems
disappear, try looking deeper into what might be causing the
transitioned to Wells Fargo Advisors in 2007 in the Fort Lauderdale offices. In denial. Emotions such as feeling lost, confused, or scared are
2020, he moved his practice to Raymond James, finding its client-first culture sometimes difficult to admit.
Questions to ask yourself might be:

aligned with his values. He earned a bachelor’s degree in economics from Florida Why am I in denial and how is it helping me with my
International University. He has served South Florida-area investors for his entire problem? The first thing is to admit to yourself that you may
not be seeing things clearly. You might find you are protecting
career and looks forward to helping them meet their financial goals for many yourself from the consequences of a situation.
What’s too painful to face? It might be a friend who is
years to come. treating you badly. You can’t bear to lose the friendship by
Making sure your wealth continues to work in support of the goals you have confronting the problem, so you make light of it or justify
established takes careful planning. Such planning is not a single event – it is a the behavior.

Why am I scared of the truth? What would happen if you
process. As your life circumstances change, so must the investment strategies told your friend your true feelings? How bad could it be?
Who do I trust to help me with my problem? Find someone
used to stay on course toward meeting your objectives. That is why Charles works to confide in who could help you talk it out.
with you, one on one, to design investment strategies targeted to your specific In general, the process of denial is not unhealthy. It’s
needs and goals. Although he does not provide tax advice, he will help you stay a natural response and not a sign of one’s lack of value or
worth. However, when someone uses denial as a means to
current with tax law changes and estate plan issues. handle problems on a regular basis, it can become a crutch
Originally from Miami, he now lives in Boca Raton with his spouse, Rana. They to deal with life’s hardships. Rather than turning your head,
try tackling problems openly and honestly. You might find it
have two children, Ashleigh and Addison. In his free time, Charles enjoys golfing can be a growth experience that offers you new opportunities
and fishing. and challenges that would otherwise be missed.

Arthur Rottenstein is a Registered Securities Principal and Branch Manager with Raymond James Financial Services, Inc. in Boca
Raton and founder of Portfoliorepair.com. He has been managing the financial affairs of a number of select families in South Florida
since 1982. Please feel free to call for an appointment at (561) 241-6616 or email him at arthur.rottenstein@raymondjames.
com. Please feel free to visit his website at bocaratonfinancialplanner.com.Securities offered through Raymond James Financial
Services, Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment Advisory Services offered through Raymond James Financial Services Advisors, Inc.