Page 13 - Boca ViewPointe - May '21

May 2021 Viewpointe, Page 13

Our Cardinal: Crazier Than A Loon

By William A. Gralnick or me bringing them in whilst the other rinsed them off and Then BANG! As God is my witness it was amazing that
filed them in the dishwasher. My mother or father hooked the the window didn’t crack. We had an additional safety thought.
I love cardinals, feisty, machine up to the sink water having learned from a few floods What if we opened the window from the bottom and dropped
feathered birds that they that neither my brother nor I had the hand of doing that. the blind to cover its top half. We passed on that. What would
are. They look stunning, as Nor were these scenes absent of Tomfoolery. One happen if dopey actually flew right into the window? Then what?
do the males, and they sing example. I had an arm full of pots and pans, gingerly making We’d have this mad, red-feathered conquistador flying around
beautifully. My mother their way to the sink in my shaking arms. My brother snuck our house, a house that had mucho ventanas (many windows).
was somewhat of a bird nut. She too loved cardinals and up behind me and planted his right and left index fingers My father opined that maybe there was a nest and maybe if we
for all the years we lived at Waldorf Court there was in into the right and left sides of my rib cage. Did you know moved it… So, we went hunting. We found no sign of a nest,
the front garden a red cardinal on a stick announcing you that pots and pans can fly? Did you know that they made a but our fly-bird turned into a dive-bomber and seemed intent
had found #12. My mother was so entranced by bird songs tremendous racket when they hit the floor? Did you know on putting holes in our heads. We retreated to the relative safety
that for her birthday, her first with me away as a college that no such pranks would get us out of doing our chores? of indoors.
student, I bought her from the store at the Shenandoah Now the scene is set for the Crazy Cardinal. What we didn’t think of was that Mother Nature has her own
National Park, an LP filled with the songs of the park’s It was my turn at the sink. Usually, the venetian blind ways of dealing with things. All we needed was patience and the
birds. Turned out it was a bridge too far, or a birdsong was up. I liked looking into our modest but neat and well- hope that the glass would maintain its strength. Summer turned
too far but I’ve always felt it’s the thought that counts. planted back yard. As I looked up from the dishes and out to Fall; Fall turned to Winter. The bird wasn’t so stupid after
Anyway, in a tree in our backyard we had a cardinal that into the garden I noticed a blur coming right at me. I don’t all. It went south for the winter and it never returned or while it
did it’s darndest to abolish every good feeling I had for know how fast birds fly, but it’s fast. Before I knew it, this was away it met up with a few feathered friends who explained
his brethren. He was the crazy cardinal of Waldorf court. lunatic hits the window full force at my eye’s level. ‘scared the physics involved in trying to fly through a window. Never
All of this came to mind last week when the Brooklyn me half to death. He knocked himself stupid and fell straight again was that heart-stopping BANG! Heard.
Eagle, of which I am both reader and writer, ran right down onto the porch. By the time we got the door unlocked And so goes the story of the Crazy Cardinal of Waldorf
next to my column their series, “The Birds of Brooklyn.” and open he was up and staggering around like a fighter who Court that was crazier than a Loon.
This week the bird was a cardinal, the picture showing had survived an 8 count. As soon as he became aware of us
this bright red, self-assured, compaction of feathers, chest he had presence of mind to take off. Columnist and author Bill Gralnick was born and raised in
predictably puffed out. He sure was not the Crazy Cardinal Now you’d figure, in spite of the long-lived expression Brooklyn. His latest book, titled “The War of the Itchy Balls and
of Waldorf Court but he sure brought back its memory as for a dumb child being bird-brained, that the cardinal would Other Tales from Brooklyn,” offers more memories. His writings
do the pair nesting on Mandeville Place. have figured it out. There is no opening there. If you try to can be found at https://www.williamgralnickauthor.com/. 
My mom was fond of bemoaning her fate of having fly through it, somebody is going to have to produce some
two sons. To get even with God, she was determined that aspirin. Not so. Bird brain has meaning. The next night
her boys would learn every chore her daughters would it was my brother’s turn at the sink and don’t you know Attention
have learned had she been blessed with daughters, or at this kamikaze cardinal does it again, hits the window with
least one. If you’re interested in how I almost became force enough to make it rattle. Again,we run for the door. Boca Pointe
Wilhelmina check out www.williamgralnickauthor.com. Again, Slapsy Maxie is staggering around like Tweety Bird
My brother, five years my senior and I, washed dishes and after he’d be swatted by Sylvester. And again, he pulled it Residents!
later unloaded the dishwasher. We were not intimidated by together in time enough to take off.
the vacuum cleaner or the broom in the garage. At times We are kind people. We don’t want this bird to harm
we served dinner; at other times we cleared the dishes and itself. We figure maybe it is the reflection from the Flatten All Your Boxes!
such from the table. We knew how to properly greet people window. Maybe the bird sees himself but in his head Our recycling trucks do not pick up your cardboard boxes
at the front door and see them out being sure they left with sees a rival and goes into attack mode. We closed the if they are not flattened. Instead, they go to trash and are burned
the same coat they came in with. Enough said. blinds—tightly. A few days passed and we had begun to with regular refuse....lost revenue for residents of Boca Pointe. 
Often times dishes were a team event with my brother relax at the sink. Bird brain had caught on.