Page 13 - Abacoa Community News - August '21

Abacoa, Page 13
Anxiety: What’s The Deal?

By Dr. Kristie DeBlasio, Local Licensed Clinical Psychologist our amygdala (lets refer to her as “Amy” from now on still wants us to think and react as we did before.
All too often, anxiety is treated like a sworn enemy. for everyone’s sake) would sound an alarm in our heads. Good news is we can train our brains like we do
We try so hard to find whatever way possible to avoid its This alarm would trigger our anxiety so we would get out any other muscle in the body, so Amy can begin acting
physical and psychological effects. Unfortunately, what of there before thinking twice about it. Why? Well quite more like our friend. Simply put, if we can refrain from
may seem like a good idea initially, may not be so good frankly, if Amy didn’t prompt us to react immediately, automatically negatively reacting every time we’re
for us in the long run. That’s because anxiety serves a we could already be dead. triggered to feel anxious, we can help Amy learn what is
purpose. If we can learn how to manage it better, we may Unfortunately, with all the ways we have evolved and a “real threat.” For example, let’s just say Amy registers
gain an appreciation of its presence, so it begins to work the advances that have been made, Amy has failed to get there is a spider and triggers you to run from it ASAP
for us instead of against us. To do that, it’s important to with the program. She may continue to flag incoming because it “could be” a tarantula and it doesn’t want to
understand why we have anxiety in the first place. information as a threat, regardless of how real or imagined take that chance (remember, she still thinks our neighbors
The story begins a long, long time ago when we used that “threat” may be and try to overpower the rational are lions and tigers and bears). That act of running away
to live in caves amongst various predators. If we walked parts of our brains. So that means even though we can from the spider gave feedback to Amy that spiders really
outside our cave domiciles and heard something strange, afford to take the time now to consider the context, Amy are scary, otherwise you wouldn’t have run away from it,
right? So, what happens next time? The minute we see a
spider, Amy will scream even faster and louder, so we run
Three Ways To Start School Strong away again. These continued reactions train us to interpret
even neutral situations as harmful, and we then worry about
almost everything and anything. Although underneath it
By Jim Forgan, Ph.D., Second, build your child’s mindset that he or she all she is just trying to keep us safe, this is no way to live.
School Psychologist can do hard things with effort. Teach your child to have Now let’s play through this scenario a different way.
Mo st k i d s st a rt grit, which is sticking with a task until completion. You still see a spider and Amy still triggers your anxiety,
school with the intention (Angela Duckworth has a great TED Talk on grit.) but this time you pause and ask yourself, “Is my life really
of having a great Notice the small things that your child did that took in danger right now?” And in that moment of pause, you
year but sometimes effort. If it took effort for your child to pick up notice it’s a Pholcid (aka Daddy longlegs … yeah, I didn’t
their intentions don’t pinecones in the yard before it is mowed, comment know the formal name either). You remind yourself that
match their actions and on how he stuck with a task that was boring and took although you may not like spiders very much, your life
kids start to struggle. effort. Ask him what he was saying to himself as he certainly is not in danger. Then you recall your daughter
Some kids struggle worked. Did he say, “This sucks” or “I can do it and saying she learned they’re not even classified as spiders.
academically while I’m helping out.” Hopefully the latter and then say, Phew! Crisis averted on all fronts.
others have social “Can you tell yourself that when you have a hard task Taking moments to pause and gather more information
struggles. Either way, these struggles can leave your in school?” teaches Amy when she is right or wrong, as well as what
child feeling frustrated, developing a negative school Third, create routines and seek proactive support. may be a more appropriate reaction. She can also then
attitude, and interfering with your child’s performance. Kids perform best when they have a predictable daily learn to use a range of intensity in her warnings, so our
First, get to know your child’s teacher(s). This is routine that includes being organized. Establish a anxiety doesn’t just fall at 0 or 10.
especially important if your child has an IEP or 504 homework schedule, have a consistent place for the Although this is only one step in the process, we like
Plan because you want the teacher to know how to best backpack, use technology to set getting ready in the to remind our clients that baby steps are still movement.
help your child. All parents should consider writing the morning reminders. Having routines reduces stress and There are other interventions to use so Amy can remain
teacher(s) a short letter explaining your child’s strengths saves time. Finally, when you see your child struggle, effective and alert us when there truly is something to
and needs. I was a classroom teacher and when I received contact a tutor, counselor, or skills coach such as those be concerned about. Ultimately, we don’t hate feeling
a letter it helped me understand and support the child at Beyond Booksmart.com. anxious as much because we appreciate it for what it is
faster. I knew if a child was a worrier, had math struggles, We can help you help find out why your child and learn how it can help us. I encourage you to continue
a history of bullying, as well as kids’ strengths. struggles. Call (561) 625-4125 or visit JimForgan.com. your journey through recovery and learn all the ways in
which you can utilize your anxiety to your favor.

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