Page 14 - Boca ViewPointe - February '23

Page 14, Viewpointe February 2023
On Becoming A Great-Grandfather

By Robert W. Goldfarb “Because we’ve lost Mom,” I replied, “I’ll come with you travel and dining where conversation was as important as
and we can both help care for the baby.” My daughter shook food. One grandson wrote “You and Bubby always made
The joy pouring through the phone told me this wasn’t her head and said, “Dad, you and Mom had your turn; now it safe to express our feelings. We never had to edit our
my granddaughter’s regular weekly telephone call. “Pop- it’s mine!” thoughts.”
Pop,” she exclaimed, “I’m pregnant! You’re going to be a Were there other differences I should know before the Had I written in return, I would have told them how
great-grandfather!” The news came as I was at dinner with baby came? I became a grandfather when I was fifty-five important to Muriel and me those long talks were. I would
friends. My cry of “Oh, how wonderful!” had them leaping years old. Now I was ninety-two. I’m quite active, but that now add that I’m learning more from them than they learn
up and embracing me. I was about to sit down and order doesn’t stop my children from routinely pointing out cracks from me. It’s their perceptions, the books they read, the
champagne when I suddenly transformed from a soon-to-be in the sidewalk over which they think I might stumble. I programs they watch, their approach to life that help me
great-grandfather to someone inhaling excitement instead also hear “Dad, let me carry that for you.” I’ve held, fed and understand the changing world in which we both live.
of air. diapered my grandchildren, but wonder if my granddaughter I’ll soon be ninety-three and know how little time
Across the dining room, I saw a young couple holding a will think I’m too old to do the same for her child. remains for my great-grandchild and me to build memories
baby no more than a month or two old. Instead of sitting, I I lost my wife of sixty-six years not long before my of our own. But that won’t stop me from doing the holding,
dashed to their table and announced “In a few months, I’m ninetieth birthday. My family thought it would help all of feeding and diapering that one day become memories he
going to be holding a baby the way you’re holding yours. I us begin to heal if the entire family gathered in an attempt or she might write about. A child yet unborn has already
just learned I’m going to be a great-grandfather!” Instead of to celebrate the event. I also suspect they thought it unwise left me with a memory of my own. It is of the 18-year-old
calling for help and shielding their child, the parents stood to leave me alone to spend my birthday without Muriel for girl and 23-year-old boy whose blood will soon be flowing
and hugged me. The mother held her baby out to me and the first time in nearly seventy years. My daughters and through four generations of the family they built.
said “Here, hold her. You’ll need the practice.” grandchildren presented me with a book thick with letters
The one great-grandparent I met did not dash across each had written to me. I was humbled by the many pages Bob’s articles have appeared in The New York Times,
rooms. When I was about five years old, my mother took my grandchildren filled, expressing how important Muriel The San Francisco Chronicle and in Next Avenue, the
me to what I later learned was a Jewish nursing home to and I were to them. publication of the Public Broadcasting Service. His book,
visit my father’s grandfather. Until that moment, I had no From their birth and now into their thirties, they credited “What’s Stopping Me From Getting Ahead?” was published
idea my father had a grandfather. Could there be someone in us with introducing them to theater, museums, concerts, by McGraw Hill and is in five languages. 
my family older than the wrinkled man I called “Gramps.”
My father was a non-observant Jew; my mother a B’H
devout Irish-Catholic. I suspect that’s why she wasn’t her Sabra Wall Decor
usual jaunty self as we approached the nursing home. The
building we were entering, after all, was crowned with a
Star of David, not a cross. There must be rules she wasn’t EstimatEs
aware of.
My mother informed me the man we were visiting was
old—very old— and didn’t speak English. Whatever little Painting & More ...
I said should be brief, but loud. I had no idea what to do or
say to the gray figure lying before us. If I touched his face, I
wondered if some of the gray would peel away and I would • Popcorn Ceiling • Wallpaper Removal
see color in his cheeks. But he didn’t look like someone I
wanted to touch. • Knock Down
It turned out it would have been far better if I had • Drywall Repair
touched him and said nothing. I thought he might perk up
when I told him, “Mommy and I just came from church Cell: (954) 931-4716 Licensed & Insured
where we asked the lady with the bleeding heart to bless Office: (561) 395-3057 CC: 03-11120-P-K
and care for you.” People standing nearby gasped and my
mother’s gentle grip turned firm. In a shaky voice she said
it was time to leave.
Now I’m going to be a great-grandfather and it’s possible
my granddaughter’s child will wonder what to say to me.
I’m an experienced grandfather, but have no idea if there
is a difference, other than generational, between being a
grandfather and being a great-grandfather.
My eldest daughter, the grandmother-to-be, quickly
told me there was a difference and it was significant. She
had mentioned she would leave her Manhattan home when
the baby was born to spend a month in San Francisco with
her daughter. I remembered how much she appreciated the
time my wife spent with her when she became a mother.

Attention Dog Owners

It is your responsibility to pick up after your dog.
It’s the law.
Some of you have been negligent in doing so.
Please keep our
Boca Pointe community beautiful!