Page 18 - Boca ViewPointe - February '23

Page 18, Viewpointe February 2023
Conflict Resolution - How Couples Show Up Matters!

By Josette Veltri It is best to remove mindful of any and all emotional shifts and be curious
thoughts and feelings from as to where and how the feelings land.
Fe b r u a r y 1 4 t h , surviving to thriving so the Learning to resolve conflicts can be a difficult process
Valentine’s Day, a day couple keeps their minds and to begin. But, beginning is not an option, it is a must IF
when couples express their hearts open to exploring all a couple wants to resolve their differences.
love for each other. barriers while focusing on the Having awareness conversations often is a needed and
BUT WAIT! Not all conflict(s) at hand. a purposeful next step for a couple to continue building
couples will be expressing If either couple needs clarification, by all means, ask and rebuilding new frameworks in their relationship and
their love. Rather, many for more information. Asking for clarity avoids one rekindle a love they both thought was lost forever.
will be expressing their party filling in the gaps for the other with assumptions Now, may be a good time to stop and create a plan on
frustrations and seeking and mind readings. doing something together. And, perhaps both parties may
conflict resolutions to help Respond always with transparency and curiosity. To find holding hands once again, a good place to begin.
them return to the love they once knew. make a relationship whole again couples need to uncover Happy Valentine’s Day!
If you are among the many experiencing partnership and acknowledge their triggers – the ultimate cause of
conflicts, I hope you find the resolution practices listed conflicts. For more information on learning and applying
below helpful and a good place to begin. Check in with each other often during all conflict coping strategies, contact Josette Veltri at josette@
First and foremost, show up and be present. The resolution conversations. Be inquisitive about how you nextstepnewstart.com. 
intent behind this practice is to rebuild a couple’s sense and your partner are feeling moment to moment; be
of trust as they show up focused and prepared - ready to
share several possible outcomes and a small peek into Reflections On What Really Matters:
their expectations.
Next, come to the table with a beginner’s mind.
This practice requires both parties to leave yesterday’s For Estate Planning And For Life
emotional baggage in yesterday and suspend all judgments.
It is said a conflict is something new trying to emerge.
However, this requires a couple to shift their attitudes from By Martin Zevin, Attorney closest to you. And forgive yourself, too. Forgiveness
this is not going to work to there are opportunities in this brings peace.
relationship to co-create and expand alliances. As I sit home writing this,
A good reminder during a conflict conversation is to with my wife of 44 years in My mother-in-law was a sweet, loving woman. But her
have a container marked it’s my turn visible. The container the kitchen and our only son son, whom she loved dearly, married a woman who she
working from his apartment
acts as an anchor for both parties to notice and acknowledge in California, I’m reflecting couldn’t stand. Her son was caught in the middle, but, as
is usually the case, sided with his wife. And because of
they will have opportunities to share and be heard, to on what really matters. This that, my mother-in-law lost her relationship with not only
understand and be understood and to be respected. world crisis has given me time her son, but her granddaughter as well.
To have a successful conflict resolution conversation, to see things in perspective.
there must be ground rules established based on values I’ve been waking every I’m sounding more like a preacher than a lawyer. But
and facts not emotions and fabrications. This practice morning saying “Thank You, God” and repeating it here’s the legal advice: as long as you’re alive, there’s an
eliminates prolonged storytelling filled with a montage constantly all day and night. I have such deep gratitude opportunity to forgive. To heal. To bring peace to yourself.
of personal perceptions. for the roof over our heads, food to eat, each other to hug If you’ve cut out a son or a daughter from your Will or
As difficult as it may seem, a couple must speak from and our son safe, healthy and still working. Trust, consider putting them back in. If you can reconcile
the heart. The intent behind this practice is to help a with them, on any level, it would be beautiful. But even if
couple recall the love they first experienced way back Through all my years of assisting clients with Estate Planning, you can’t, the mere act of making him or her an heir again
I have seen so many parents who are alienated from one or is a great act of forgiveness and love.
when. And, to slow down and lower heightened emotions more children. I hear things like: “I haven’t talked to my son
allowing time to reflect and relive the way they were and in 20 years.” Or: “My daughter has said things to me that And if you are lucky enough to have a wonderful
the way they could be again. I can never forgive. I want her out of the Will.” It always relationship with your children, count your blessings – and

makes me sad. But as a lawyer, I do what the client asks. give them a call.
The Estate ends up going to a charity, or a sibling or a friend.
Dear Boca Pointe And charities and siblings and friends are certainly all worthy. Please feel free to call me for a free phone consultation
regarding any issues pertaining to Wills, Trusts, Estates and

Dog Owners: And yes, children can be mean or selfish or inconsiderate. Probate. I am also available for free consultation regarding
But in this moment, writing this as a man and a father personal injury claims or car insurance coverage. Call
and a son to two parents who were far from the greatest, me at (954) 569-4878. My address is 3275 W. Hillsboro
but who gave me life, I say to any one reading: This is a Blvd., Suite 204, Deerfield Beach, Florida 33442. My
time to forgive. Forgiveness is healing. If you can, leave website is www.martinzevinpa.com and my e-mail address
We have had a few recent this Earth having forgiven everyone, especially those is martinzevin@netzero.com.
complaints from residents who have
had uncomfortable encounters Paid Advertisement

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