Page 6 - Jupiter Ocean Mile - August '20

Page 6, Jupiter Ocean Mile
Book Review

Through The Lens Of Love: In her case, “LotsaHelpingHands,” to deal with herself. They found their
perfect home in a lovely community,
a network of volunteers comprised
Facing Terminal Illness of family, friends and Dr. Gross’s and arranged for a beautiful courtyard
former patients offered to show garden (birds, butterflies and all) while
By Nils A. Shapiro their appreciation for his decades he was still here to ensure that she would
The opening sentence of of devoted care by, for example, be happy ... his final gift to her.
this book is unforgettable: driving him to some of his treatment *****
“These were the best two appointments – most of them an hour Because this book has been self-
years of my life,” Dick said away in Boston – and performed published, copies of this paperback are
to me. such other helpful tasks as shopping, available only from Amazon.com – where
What makes these or staying with him while Robin had it rapidly made Amazon’s bestseller list
words so remarkable – and to handle outside matters. – and from the author. To order from
stunningly poignant – is And finally, as an example of the author, contact: butterflylady144@
that they were spoken to Dick’s concern that Robin be happy yahoo.com. Through the Lens of Love:
the author by her physician and well cared for after his death, Facing Terminal Illness is $14.95 in
husband, Dr. Richard Gross, he insisted that they search together paperback. A Kindle edition is also
shortly before he died ... and the years he was referring to for a new home for Robin because available exclusively from Amazon.com
were those they had shared after he had been diagnosed – with the children on their own – for $4.99.
as having glioblastoma, an incurable form of brain cancer their old home was too much for her
that often means only months to live! He survived two years,
almost to the day.
This is the disease that was described by our “Medical
Matters” columnist in last month’s issue of Boca Club News,
Dr. Richard Nagler, as “one of the most lethal of all cancers
... with a two-year survival rate of less than 25 percent.”
The book first came to my attention more than a year ago
when its author, Robin Gross – who, through mutual friends,
knew of my background as the editor of more than two dozen
published books – asked me, as a courtesy, to examine her
manuscript and offer my comments. I had very few to suggest
because I found this memoir of her final two years of life
with her husband so extraordinarily touching … and, equally
important, recognized immediately how valuable it would be
as a guide to anyone faced with such a traumatic situation.
Since I first learned of this book, the arrival of the
coronavirus and its threat of infection and rapid deaths of
victims in hospitals alone and without family for comfort has
caused many to forget that there are still those who must deal
with the other medical issues that were with us long before
the pandemic.
This is a guide for those who must prepare for the worst
... as well as an inspiring story of how one couple’s loving
marriage conquered fear itself.
Dick (as he was known to family and friends) had turned
64 in April of 2012, and he and Robin had then celebrated
their 40th anniversary with a trip to Monet’s Garden in
Giverny, France and the Keukenhof Garden in Holland as part
of a special tour where they indulged their mutual passions
for photography and gardens. Back home in Lakeville,
Massachusetts, the pride of their beautiful home were the
magnificent gardens they had designed and nurtured, filled
with butterflies, hummingbirds, frogs, a fish pond and even
two pet peacocks at one point.
With their four grown children – three daughters and a
son – all now on their own, and Dick only a year away from
thinking about retiring from his private medical practice, he
and Robin were looking forward to a second honeymoon
lifestyle, as much in love as they had ever been.
Then, on May 20, 2012 their lives changed forever with
that diagnosis – a tragic reminder that Dick’s brother, Sam,
had died of the very same glioblastoma at the age of 65.
Through the Lens of Love is Robin’s memoir of how this
deeply committed couple decided to face so impossible a life
challenge. While the subject matter may lead some to assume
this to be a depressing book, it is very much the opposite.
It will be, instead, an inspiring and uplifting experience for
three different kinds of readers.
First, more than a “love story,” it is a story of love
between two souls – a love so full, so complete, so deep that
it also expressed itself as friendship, where such common
interests as photography and gardens were shared and
enjoyed as passions.
Second, because Robin was prescient enough to have
kept so many of the letters, cards and other documents
both medical and personal that filled her crowded days
and nights during his final years. She also records here
so many of the treatments, travels and helpful ideas that
enabled her to deal with Dick’s health issues – and at
the same time extend his life and give him comfort. This
book is an excellent guide for anyone who must serve
as a caregiver for a loved one with a terminal illness,
including the importance of a wonderful support system.