Page 5 - Boca ViewPointe - September '23
P. 5

September 2023                                                    Viewpointe, Page 5
      America Gonif

      By William A. Gralnick                             like it to be doing them. The other side lets you change radio      My last gloat is for highway driving. I do not have,
                                                         stations, raise and lower the volume, press a button, and call   nor would I want hands-free driving. Aside from the fact
         “America gonif!” So                             someone or answer a call if you so choose. If the driver looks   that I don’t trust it, I think “hands-free” and “driving” are
      would exclaim my paternal                          straight out the front window, directly over the steering wheel,   contradictory terms. However, especially as I’ve aged,
      grandfather when he saw                            there’s a magic display. It shows your speed and the speed   I find my car tends to drift left from the center of the
      yet another startling object                       limit. There’s a little car image that changes color as you   highway lanes. Notice I blame that on the car, not me…
      or invention not imaginable                        approach the rear of the car in front—white (no car), green   My vehicle has not one but two ways to alert me. One is if I
      to him in “the old country.” “Gonif” is the Yiddish word for   (three lengths) orange (two lengths). When you’re tailgating   get too close to the white line, I get that tickle. If, however,
      thief. What he meant was that America had what a successful   it turns red, begins to flash, and if you are determined not to   my pants are too thick, or I otherwise am not “feeling it”
      thief had—smarts, intelligence, moxie (think the cat burglar   heed the warning and slow down, it will stop the car suddenly   and begin to cross that line the car becomes the driver in
      in the Pink Panther or the jewelry heist in the Crown Affair).   enough so your dentures will shift places. The salesman said,   that the wheel gently but firmly turns us back towards the
      The country used these talents to create marvelous, to him,   “mostly people only challenge the car once.” The stop is so   center. If you resist, the car gently becomes the minder
      mind-bending instruments for life.                 noisy and sudden that it will never be forgotten.  of safety. It reminds you more firmly. If you insist, you
         I’ve fallen in love. Follow me on this. This time it is      Then there’s the infotainment center. It’s the first I’ve ever   will eventually override the warning and move across the
      with a car (the publishers won’t let me tell you the make),   been able to master. Two cars ago when I asked the salesman   line; the car never becomes the driver. Ultimately if you
      a car that made me exclaim “America gonif!” The average   how to use the navigation he said, “Don’t tell anyone I told   hit the guy in the next lane, it’s your fault, not the car’s.
      American keeps a car for seven years. Not me. Four is the   you this—just use Siri on your phone. It’s a lot easier.” One   All of this becomes resolved quite easily. Put on your turn
      most; two and a half is the least. I’ve had a lot of cars.   of the best things about this one is its placement. It is just   signal. It tells the car, “Hey! Everything’s OK. I do want
      Some I’ve liked; some not. Many decades ago, I bought the   below eye level and tilted towards the driver so shifting the   to change lanes” Peace again reigns.
      first car made with a digital speedometer. I loved that car.   body position to see it is unnecessary. And after a bit, muscle      America gonif!
      The brand new car I had that locked up in first gear leaving   memory lets one change the apps without turning one’s head
      a “Fins” game in Miami causing me to drive 60 miles at   from the road. And what wonders does it bring? First, via      Columnist  and  author  Bill  Gralnick  was  born  and
      20 miles an hour I hated. For this purchase, likely my last   Bluetooth and AppleCarPlay, you put in the destination (best   raised in Brooklyn, NY. He is writing a three-part
      car due to the aging process, I wanted an American car   done before you begin driving), and then two miles before   humorous memoir. The first is “The War of the Itchy
      with the patented soft, sitting-in-your-favorite chair ride, a   every change in directions a sweet voice tells you what you   Balls and Other Tales from Brooklyn.” Just published
      quiet car that deadened the road noise and allowed one to   are going to do and at 10 yards, tells you it is time to do it but   is the sequel, “George Washington Didn’t Sleep Here.”
      listen to the radio without having to turn it up ‘til blowing   does so without any urgency. My last car would sound very   Both are available on Amazon. You can find his writing
      the glass out of the doors seemed possible. I wanted a car   anxious, “Do this now or else!” was the tone.  at 
      that Consumer Reports wouldn’t say, “Dope! You bought      The biggest difference between this car and others is
      THAT car?” I’m very high on Consumer Reports. They’ve   the “tushy tickle.” The car has a 360-degree camera so it is
      never led me astray—when I’ve taken their advice. This   constantly warning me about things I can’t see, including   Hot Topics
      time I did. I found it. I bought it. I, and CR, got it right.  pedestrians and those annoying parking lot cement stop
         This car blows my mind. Let me count the ways. Pretty   blocks. Each time I need to be made aware of something, the
      much all you need is a telephone and the steering wheel. The   seat vibrates. It takes some getting used to but after a while,   Group Notice
      telephone links to Bluetooth providing an amazing number of   I realized if every time the car wanted to communicate with
      options. Of course, you need the steering wheel for driving,   me it beeped or chirped, I’d have the sensory perception of
      but the driver can do myriad things on the steering wheel   driving a coo-coo clock. The camera is an invaluable parking      We are a women’s group who remember Reva
      without ever having to move the eyes from looking straight   tool. Ever been jealous of people who can park by backing   Tucker. Hot Topics has resumed meetings every Friday
      forward. For instance, on one side of the steering column   into a space? No more. The camera shows the lines in the   and are seeking new members. Please join us for lively
      one can warm the seat or warm the steering wheel. Silly in   space and the parking block. ‘Make you crazy when you get   discussions at 11:00am to 12:30pm at the Boca Pointe
      Florida? Not if you have a bad back or digital arthritis, which   out of your car and realize you’ve parked on an angle? Cross   Community Office. If you would like more information
      I do. There is a thumb wheel that allows the driver to find out   that one off, too. And of course, there’s also parallel parking   or to sign up, please call 561-715-8298. 
      a host of things about what the car is doing and how you’d   assist. Could heaven be better?

         All Realtors Are Not The Same!

         We all have access to the MLS but only some of us are experts in our community.

         The reason to choose The Hershon Team is for our expertise in Boca Pointe, and

                     our dedication to unequaled personal and professional service.

            As residents and Club members, we are experts in Boca Pointe Real Estate.

                              Choose us for Experience, Honesty, & Integrity.

                       For Sale                                  Seasonal Rentals

           Extraordinary 3*/2/1 Penthouse, totally                       La Paz 2/2 $5,000

           renovated with top of the line finishes.                      La Paz 2/2 $5,500
                          Move-in ready.
                          $749,000                                  Montego Bay 3/2 $5,500

                 BUYING – SELLING – RENTING

                        Call The hershon TeaM

                         Karol & Marshall hershon

                                    Visit Our Web Site:

                             Cell: (561) 213-4017       Eves. (561) 338-3582


                                                                                                             Boca Pointe members & residents

                                                                                                            Boca Pointe Expert Realtors
   1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10