Page 6 - Boca ViewPointe - June '21

Page 6, Viewpointe June 2021

Boca Pointe Advisor – VIII

NOT YOUR TYPICAL always brags to everyone using a pen is how smart confident for new customers. The owner rejected the coupon as she
4. My friend does his crossword puzzles in erasable ink. He
explained she was an existing customer. My mother-in-law
ADVICE COLUMN people do puzzles. Do you think he is stretching the truth to got nuts as she said the dog is a new customer and the coupon
impress others? and discount should be honored. Who is right?
By Alan Arnold a) The Advisor thinks you should get a life!!! a) We think you both have solid arguments. Bring the case
b) Your friend is not stretching the truth. The puzzle is to Judge Judy and let her adjudicate.
Here we go again. Another column filled with excellent done in ink. Erasable ink is still ink. b) Tell her that her face looks like a dog and does she give
advice to address your concerns and problems. c) The real question is what he uses to write his name on herself a discount?
We are gathering all feedback from previous articles and his underwear. Please get back to us after you find out. c) Next time bring in a Great Dane with a bowel disorder.
will share them in an upcoming special issue called THE d) Smart confident people do not do puzzles that are She will pay you to go somewhere else.
ADVISOR MAILBOX. geared to pre-K mentality. Your friend needs to try the NY d) If none of the above work, we suggest you wear a
For now, on with the issues at hand. Times Sunday puzzle and we can then see if he is smart or disguise and just pretend you are a new customer. With the
1. As a single guy I usually am always looking for single an imbecile. COVID masks, it is very hard to identify anyone these days.
women. One of my favorite places is the fruits and vegetable 5. I am a 43-year-old man who recently relocated and am 7. My wife and I are doing some long-term planning
section of Publix. I get a bit turned on when I see women currently looking for a place to buy. The only thing I see in the and are trying to figure out whether we want to be buried or
feeling plums and peaches like they were gold bullion. Why papers, with realtors and on all online sites are places that are cremated. Do you have any suggestions for us?
do they need to touch every single piece of fruit. I was in 55 and older. Are not there any 55 and younger communities? a) This is really a personal choice. One plus as far as
the plum section and met this incredibly sexy woman. She a) Not really. We know a guy who knows a guy who has cremation, over the years you will save a lot of money on
was about to give me her number and after a quick look in a friend who knows a guy who can provide you with any gas since you do not have to drive to a cemetery. And if you
my cart, she raced away from me and was gone in a flash. documents you need. Seek him out. Contact him thru his use premium unleaded, your savings should be huge.
Initially I had no idea why, but I then realized I had been website called www.forgeddocuments.com. b) Another plus is you do not have to buy a coffin. These
shopping for my elder parents and had a wagon filled with b) We suggest you buy a Service or Emotional Support days, with the price of lumber, you might die before you pay
Colace, Depends, Pull-ups, Dulcolax, Gas-X, Pepto Bismol, animal. This is a very tricky, but a legal way to bypass any off the cost of a nice coffin.
Miralax, Preparation H, Desitin and many other lotions and age requirement. Just make sure the animal is over 55. c) Everyone could use an extra urn around the house. Not
creams and undergarments. What can I do to avoid this c) It is indeed a problem as 99.9% of all Floridians are only can it hold ashes, but also good to put your loose change
because I often shop for my folks? over 55. Maybe just move in with your folks. in it.
a) The Advisor suggests you google – Shadow Shopper d) There is one place we just heard about. They accept d) Traditionally, the choice of a burial has always been the
– a recently formed subsidiary of Secret Shopper. You can everyone. The problem is it is a trailer park in the middle of preferred option. The problem we have often heard is older
hire someone to shadow you with a wagon filled with organic the Everglades. folks tear their rotator cuff from picking up a heavy shovel
foods, vegan, gluten free healthy snacks and whole grain 6. My mother-in-law recently lost her dog but was to toss dirt in the grave. Approximately 65% of those injured
breads and pasta. All great healthy stuff. Next time you see fortunate enough to rescue a beautiful mixed breed. She require rotator cuff surgery.
a woman you want to meet, switch carts, and go from there. brought the dog to the groomer she was using and when she
We guarantee success! picked up the dog, she presented a 25% discount coupon Boca Pointe Advisor – VIII on page 7
b) A less expensive option would be to hire someone else
to shop for your folks or just get it delivered.
c) There are new carts at Publix, that have tops that go up
and down like a convertible car. Get one of these and cover
up all the stuff you mentioned above.
d) Since most men are looking for love in all the wrong
places, suggest you move to the bakery department and look
for women gently squeezing breads. A venue change might
prove to be more successful for you.
2. My husband and I have been trying to conceive and
really want a son. We have not had any luck. Can you offer
some advice.
a) We are going to offer you some out of the box advice.
As you know from a prior article, our editor is very familiar
with the mating habits of Loggerhead turtles. Their sex is
determined by the temperature of the air during conception.
(google TDS -temperature determined sex) Next time, turn
the A/C on to its coldest. As crazy as it sounds, give it a try.
You have a 50-50 chance of having a son.
b) If this does not work, next time turn up the heat. One
of these options should work.
c) Continue as usual but think of names that can be used
for either sex. This way you really cannot go wrong. Some
examples would be Robin, Alex, Randy, Chris etc. etc.
d) Buy another A/C unit and keep one very cold and at
the same time keep one very hot. We feel very confident you
will have twins with the odds very strong at least one will
be a boy.
3. I have recently started to date a great guy and I think
things are going well. But there is one problem, and I do not
know how to handle it. His fly is always open. I talked to
him about it, but he just tells me to mind my own business.
I thought that was very insensitive of him. I really want to
make this work. Any suggestions?
a) South of the border issues are very sensitive for both
sexes. We should probably not touch this subject at all, but
we will offer you some things to consider. We think if his
equipment is not visible, just let it be.
b) Open your fly as well. See how he reacts.
c) Get a fly swatter and swat his fly at every opportunity.
He might get the hint.
d) Buy him the book – The Catcher in The Fly written
by JD Salinger’s cousin, and he will soon start to keep his
fly closed.

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