Page 8 - Boca ViewPointe - November '21
P. 8

Page 8, Viewpointe                                                  November 2021

      Boca Pointe Advisor November Lmnopeieioxxlm

      Anniversary Issue

       NOT YOUR TYPICAL                                    for extra duck sauce. It has not been a problem until   you were stealing flatware and soup bowls and bottles
                                                           3. Whenever I go out for Chinese food, I always ask
                                                                                                           of soy sauce. Since the owner is friendly with Carmine
       ADVICE COLUMN                                     recently when I was told by the new owner if I get extra   the Rat and Nicky the Neck, we think the fortune cookie
                                                         duck sauce, I would not be able to have a fortune cookie   issue will be the least of your problems.
       By Alan Arnold                                    unless I pay for it. I do not think this is fair. Do you think      4. My wife is well endowed and tends to wear low
                                                         I have a valid concern.                           cut  tops  when  we  go  out  which  makes  me  feel  very
          Hi again to all our readers. It is hard to believe that a year      a) The Advisor thinks you have been on the sauce for   uncomfortable. How can I approach this subject without
       has passed since our initial column. So much has happened   way too long and need to get into a detox program.  offending her. I love her very much, but I am a bit prudish
       and not all good by the way. Our staff has received numerous      b) We feel you have a legitimate case. Take your   when it comes to things like this.
       threats and has been stopped on the street by angry readers.   problem to their HR Department and make a formal      a) We would like to have a lengthy one on one in
       In spite of this, we still have a dedicated core of volunteers   complaint. Fortune cookies are one of the most important   depth meeting with her to get a better understanding of
       who work hard to help you, our readers.           part of the Chinese food experience. First learn to talk   the problem. Can you have her meet me at the bar at New
          We did plan a special issue but since more of our staff   Mandarin.                              York Prime this Saturday night and bring an overnight
       have left, we have a small crew that limits our ability to go      c) Might be best to just eat Italian and stay away from   bag just in case the meeting runs late.
       beyond the regular question and answer format. Another one   Chinese which as you know is laced with MSG.      b) See if she qualifies for a wattle-ectomy.  This
       of our top researchers left for a position in the Wuhan Lab and      d) We consulted with the owner and found out you   procedure elongates the wattle hanging below her chin
       another has taken a part time position as a Walmart greeter.   were taking large amounts of mustard and duck sauce
       A third member left to try to keep up with The Kardashians,   home with you after each meal. The owner also told us   Boca Pointe Advisor on page 9
       and just yesterday one of our senior staffers left to tour with
       Britney Spears.
          Even with a skeleton crew, we want you to know we are
       still here for you and will continue to help those that need
       help that cannot help themselves because good help is hard
       to find.
          Ok – let’s do it!!!
          1. My husband will kill me if he found out I am writing
       to you for advice. I am using a false name and hope he does
       not realize it is me asking for advice. We have been married
       for 26 years and since the first day I met him he is always
       self-conscious over the fact he is bald. He wore a hat on our
       first date and has never taken it off. He takes a shower with
       his hat on and on the rare occasions we get intimate he still                                                         Servicing PETS of Boca Raton
       does not remove his hat. I do not know what to do. I have                                                                   for over 20 years
       tried everything possible with no luck. Please help me.                                                                  “Caring is our Specialty”
          a) We have fielded this question before. One suggestion
       would be to have him grow his eyebrows very long and                                                                 Complete medical, Surgical and Dental
       comb them back over his head. We know this has proven to                                                                Facility SPA Bath & Grooming
       be successful with many men.
          b) Often problems like these go back to one’s childhood.
       We decided to visit the home where he grew up and were
       allowed to see his old bedroom. On the wall were huge   Serving over 108,000 satisfied customers since 1976
       posters of Telly Savales, Yul Brenner and even Mr. Clean.
       This confirmed our suspicions that as a youngster he had
       a problem. Suggest you enroll him in BHA, (Bald Heads                                                                      South Florida’s
       Anonymous) which thru psychotherapy gets to the root
       causes of problems like these and has a very high success                                                                Largest Plumbing
       rate. Go to for a location near you.                                                                         Service Company!
          c) This is a bit radical but might make him feel more
       comfortable with his baldness. We suggest you shave your
       head and only go out in public on Halloween as a pair of
       bowling balls.                                                                            - Leak Detection
          d) There have been many recent advances in science that
       help make things grow. We know a reader who had success                                   Residential & Commercial in walls or under slab
       with Miracle Grow for plants. He rubbed this on his head                                  (up to 12 feet underground)
       and in a few weeks started to grow hair. He also happened                                 - tunneL experts
       to grow tomatoes and brussels sprouts so it could be risky
       but might be worth a try. Good luck. Please keep us posted.                               We Dig Tunnels Under Buildings & Houses to
          2. My husband has very serious anger issues. As an                                     Replace Your Water or Sewer Lines - No need to
       example, if he loses at solitaire, he beats himself up. We have                           leave your home! We DO NOT cut your floors
       gotten professional help, but his behavior has not changed.
       We turn to The Advisor as a last resort.                 20% OFF                          - toiLet repairs
          a) Anger management problems need professional
       intervention. The reasons for this behavior need to be   GaRBaGe DiSpOSaLS                - Water Heater
       identified before any treatment can begin. We suggest you                                   repLacements
       contact the first of his five wives and get input from her.                       SB
          b) Another option would be to contact his parole officer
       and get a printout of previous assault and battery charges to   20% OFF                   and Much More!
       see if there has been a pattern that can provide clues to his
       behavior.                                           TOiLeT RepaiRS OR ReSiDeNTiaL                    10% OFF
          c) Suggest he only play pinochle                        TOiLeT STOppaGeS
          d) Have him spend more time at the Bergen Hunt and Fish                         SB             All Plumbing Repairs
       Club where we feel Carmine the Rat Alfonso and Nicky the
       Neck Carlusso can keep his anger under control.          $ 100 OFF

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        if they are not flattened. Instead, they go to trash and are burned                                                          Call away!
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        with regular refuse....lost revenue for residents of Boca Pointe. 
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