Page 8 - Boca ViewPointe - November '21

Page 8, Viewpointe November 2021

Boca Pointe Advisor November Lmnopeieioxxlm

Anniversary Issue

NOT YOUR TYPICAL for extra duck sauce. It has not been a problem until you were stealing flatware and soup bowls and bottles
3. Whenever I go out for Chinese food, I always ask
of soy sauce. Since the owner is friendly with Carmine
ADVICE COLUMN recently when I was told by the new owner if I get extra the Rat and Nicky the Neck, we think the fortune cookie
duck sauce, I would not be able to have a fortune cookie issue will be the least of your problems.
By Alan Arnold unless I pay for it. I do not think this is fair. Do you think 4. My wife is well endowed and tends to wear low
I have a valid concern. cut tops when we go out which makes me feel very
Hi again to all our readers. It is hard to believe that a year a) The Advisor thinks you have been on the sauce for uncomfortable. How can I approach this subject without
has passed since our initial column. So much has happened way too long and need to get into a detox program. offending her. I love her very much, but I am a bit prudish
and not all good by the way. Our staff has received numerous b) We feel you have a legitimate case. Take your when it comes to things like this.
threats and has been stopped on the street by angry readers. problem to their HR Department and make a formal a) We would like to have a lengthy one on one in
In spite of this, we still have a dedicated core of volunteers complaint. Fortune cookies are one of the most important depth meeting with her to get a better understanding of
who work hard to help you, our readers. part of the Chinese food experience. First learn to talk the problem. Can you have her meet me at the bar at New
We did plan a special issue but since more of our staff Mandarin. York Prime this Saturday night and bring an overnight
have left, we have a small crew that limits our ability to go c) Might be best to just eat Italian and stay away from bag just in case the meeting runs late.
beyond the regular question and answer format. Another one Chinese which as you know is laced with MSG. b) See if she qualifies for a wattle-ectomy. This
of our top researchers left for a position in the Wuhan Lab and d) We consulted with the owner and found out you procedure elongates the wattle hanging below her chin
another has taken a part time position as a Walmart greeter. were taking large amounts of mustard and duck sauce
A third member left to try to keep up with The Kardashians, home with you after each meal. The owner also told us Boca Pointe Advisor on page 9
and just yesterday one of our senior staffers left to tour with
Britney Spears.
Even with a skeleton crew, we want you to know we are
still here for you and will continue to help those that need
help that cannot help themselves because good help is hard
to find.
Ok – let’s do it!!!
1. My husband will kill me if he found out I am writing
to you for advice. I am using a false name and hope he does
not realize it is me asking for advice. We have been married
for 26 years and since the first day I met him he is always
self-conscious over the fact he is bald. He wore a hat on our
first date and has never taken it off. He takes a shower with
his hat on and on the rare occasions we get intimate he still Servicing PETS of Boca Raton
does not remove his hat. I do not know what to do. I have for over 20 years
tried everything possible with no luck. Please help me. “Caring is our Specialty”
a) We have fielded this question before. One suggestion
would be to have him grow his eyebrows very long and Complete medical, Surgical and Dental
comb them back over his head. We know this has proven to Facility SPA Bath & Grooming
be successful with many men.
b) Often problems like these go back to one’s childhood.
We decided to visit the home where he grew up and were
allowed to see his old bedroom. On the wall were huge Serving over 108,000 satisfied customers since 1976
posters of Telly Savales, Yul Brenner and even Mr. Clean.
This confirmed our suspicions that as a youngster he had
a problem. Suggest you enroll him in BHA, (Bald Heads South Florida’s
Anonymous) which thru psychotherapy gets to the root
causes of problems like these and has a very high success Largest Plumbing
rate. Go to www.bha.org for a location near you. Service Company!
c) This is a bit radical but might make him feel more
comfortable with his baldness. We suggest you shave your
head and only go out in public on Halloween as a pair of
bowling balls. - Leak Detection
d) There have been many recent advances in science that
help make things grow. We know a reader who had success Residential & Commercial in walls or under slab
with Miracle Grow for plants. He rubbed this on his head (up to 12 feet underground)
and in a few weeks started to grow hair. He also happened - tunneL experts
to grow tomatoes and brussels sprouts so it could be risky
but might be worth a try. Good luck. Please keep us posted. We Dig Tunnels Under Buildings & Houses to
2. My husband has very serious anger issues. As an Replace Your Water or Sewer Lines - No need to
example, if he loses at solitaire, he beats himself up. We have leave your home! We DO NOT cut your floors
gotten professional help, but his behavior has not changed.
We turn to The Advisor as a last resort. 20% OFF - toiLet repairs
a) Anger management problems need professional
intervention. The reasons for this behavior need to be GaRBaGe DiSpOSaLS - Water Heater
identified before any treatment can begin. We suggest you repLacements
contact the first of his five wives and get input from her. SB
b) Another option would be to contact his parole officer
and get a printout of previous assault and battery charges to 20% OFF and Much More!
see if there has been a pattern that can provide clues to his
behavior. TOiLeT RepaiRS OR ReSiDeNTiaL 10% OFF
c) Suggest he only play pinochle TOiLeT STOppaGeS
d) Have him spend more time at the Bergen Hunt and Fish SB All Plumbing Repairs
Club where we feel Carmine the Rat Alfonso and Nicky the
Neck Carlusso can keep his anger under control. $ 100 OFF

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